Chris Gethard Interview

2010-01-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

(From November '08)

I remember the first time I saw Chris Gethard perform: It was one of my first times seeing improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York City, and his group was easily the funniest of the night, let alone of anything I’d seen in a while. As I began to follow more comedy, I realized I recognized him, and began to search out other things he was involved in. I thought he was hilarious, but was also intrigued; From an Ergs! shirt in one video, to a Hüsker Dü song in the background of another, I realized that besides bringing a theater full of people to hysterics, he could also make a great mix tape. In addition to being on one of UCB’s featured improv teams, he’s also a regular contributor to the long running comedic-music fanzine Go Metric! and helped organized the popular storytelling show Nights of our Lives. Chris was nice enough to talk to me one night before a performance, about comedy, punk rock, and why sometimes it’s just funny to see people hitting their breaking point.

Joe: What were your first experiences with music and writing?
Chris: I guess my initial experiences with music were when I was around thirteen or fourteen years old. My older brother and his friends were very much into the local punk rock scene, so like anyone at that age would, I followed and I just kind of got lucky [Laughs]. My brother’s best friend, who I wound up going to college with, and is still a good friend today, did this fanzine called Marcia. He kind of became one of the leaders and organizers of the punk scene there, so he used to put on shows and stuff. I don’t know if I ever wrote anything for Marcia, but they ran an underground newspaper in our school that I wrote for, and then another friend of ours started up a fanzine which I wrote for. I just sort of got lucky that my older brother was sort of involved with this crew of people that were organizing shows, and had a couple of fanzines out, so I got involved in that whole “Northern NJ, go see very shitty bands in church basements and stuff” very young. [Laughs].
Joe: And you also went to Rutgers in New Brunswick…
Chris: Yeah, but I think when I was there, the impression I got was that there was kind of a lull in the music scene, and I actually fell out of things. I was pretty locked in to that whole Jersey pop punk scene, but when I got to Rutgers I actually stopped going to shows, which surprised me. Like there was this band called Boxcar that was really good, and I used to see them around New Brunswick a little bit. I know its huge now, but when I was there The Melody Bar was there, and the Court Tavern, so I was too young to get into a lot of those, and I don’t remember there being too many basement shows then. I think I was there at a pretty low point. But I do remember Fid, who I think is still down there.
Joe: Yeah, his main band now is The Measure [SA].
Chris: He rolled with a bunch of friends of mine down there. My punk rock friends used to, they kept trying to hook me up with the girl, but I once had a disastrous incident where I threw up in front of her. And then my friends, that same guy who wrote Marcia fanzine wound up living in a sort of punk house where The Automatics came through town and stayed at that house, and the I Farm guys used to hang out there a lot. So I guess I was around and aware of a scene there, but I was struggling with all kinds of other shit so I stopped worrying about music for a few years to be honest with you [Laughs].
Joe: Do you remember seeing Egghead.? And do you have any sort of connection with them?
Chris: Oh yeah. The way I discovered Egghead. was kind of strange, and I still have connections with those guys. There was a band called Thirsty, and Dave Thirsty ran a fanzine called Muddle that was really pretty big, and was really great. He was close with the friends of mine, who would have Thirsty on shows all the time. At one show in a backyard, Less Than Jake played and no one knew who the fuck they were [Laughs], they were just some weirdos. Thirsty headlined AFTER Less Than Jake, and they started throwing all these copies of different fanzines out into the crowd, and I just happened to grab Go Metric! number two, out of the sky. And I read it, and was like “This is fucking AWESOME, it’s so funny,” and I thought it was great. I believe Go Metric! was just largely an Egghead. promotional tool early on, and they played in Jersey at a show Dave Thirsty organized. They were the funniest, coolest guys, and I bought their 7-inch, and tape.

That’s actually how I got involved at UCB, strangely enough, because when I started, they were so horrible about getting their information out, you couldn’t find ANYTHING about classes. I had never seen a show there, but I knew that it was cool, and that I wanted to do comedy, so I called up one day and was like “Yeah I want to take a class”, and the guy on the phone introduced himself as John Bowie. He told me “Sorry, there are no classes available.” This was when there was one class every three months, where as today it’s huge, there’ll always be an open class. But I was like “Holy shit, I have to wait another three months? I’ll be back in school, that sucks,” and he says “Sorry man, there’s nothing I can do to help out.” I said “So you said your name is John Bowie, huh?” And he’s like “Yeah…” and I ask “You wouldn’t be the bassist from Egghead. would you?” and he was like “Yeah…”, and I go “Wow that’s crazy. Well that sucks about classes, but I’m a really big fan of your band, I’ve got your 7”, I saw you play in Berkeley Heights New Jersey, I think you guys are fucking great, I read Go Metric! all the time,” and he goes “Hold on a second”, and there’s like thirty seconds of shuffling papers, [Laughs] and he comes back with “Alright, your class starts Sunday.” I think he was just flattered that I knew Egghead. so he put me in my first class. He was kind of my mentor around the New York comedy scene for my first few years, and then I started reading Go Metric! again because he was around.

Dyna Moe was also around UCB, and I’ve known her for years, and she mentioned Go Metric! one day and I was like “You’ve got to be kidding me, I haven’t seen a copy of that in years,”. And (Mike) Faloon started taking classes here for a little while, and we linked back up. And I’m still pretty amazed that my knowledge of Egghead. got me started in a career path in comedy.[Laughs]

Joe: Did you also start writing for Go Metric! as well?
Chris: Yeah, which was funny, he’s such a humble guy, I don’t know if Faloon knows just how much it means to me that I’ve had things published in there. He really enjoyed the UCB scene, and was always very supportive of it, which I thought was really cool. He asked me to contribute, but I don’t think he knew how I’d literally been a fan since I was fourteen years old. So that was, as strange as it is, one of the things that I’m most psyched that happened, that I got to write for Go Metric!

Also, music was weirdly connected to UCB, because in my level one improv class, on the very first day I befriended a young man who would go on to become famed international rapper mc chris, which I still get a kick out of. I remember our level one graduation improv show, and afterwards Chris was like “You know everyone should come back to my house in Jersey City, we’ll hang out there”, and we went and it wasn’t until years later that I realized that was the infamous Souse House.
Joe: The Dirt Bike Annie house?
Chris: Yeah, and all the Dirt Bike Annie guys were always around, they were Chris’s friends, and I knew of Dirt Bike Annie, they were always hanging out. The Ergs! were hanging out there, I believe before The Ergs! were “THE ERGS!”, they were at UCB a bunch.
Joe: You mean when they were 75% Off, or The Flatliners, or one of those incarnations?
Chris: No, they were The Ergs!, the thing was Dyna Moe, who draws a lot of the covers for Go Metric!, and she’s done stuff at Whoa Oh Records, right?
Joe: Yeah, like the Dirt Bike Annie/Kung Fu Monkeys split, as well as the Kung Fu Monkeys collection covers.
Chris: She’s known The Ergs! forever, and did a one woman show about being a nerd, like going to nerd camp, and the first time I’d ever heard of The Ergs! was because they played every show she did, they were the backing band for her show.
Joe: “Honolulu Hornrims” was the theme song I believe.
Chris: Yeah, and I thought that was pretty funny that she had a band, especially because that was in our old theater, which was like a tiny little box compared to now. And then she put together a show called Girlcrush 2040 that was like a live action anime. I was in it, and Joe Erg used to come up and help out. I think it was on Fridays at Midnight, and we always used to hang out, and Joe and I hit it off. I was writing for Weird New Jersey at the time, and he was a fan of that, and gave me a copy of Three Guys Twelve Eyes. He was trying to give them to everybody, like “Hey guys, check this out!” I have a feeling he doesn’t have to do that anymore [Laughs], people probably go out of their way to find it now.

I remember one time after a show I gave him a ride, we were going to a party and my tire popped, and he jumped out and changed the tire in like two minutes, I believe he’s an Eagle Scout?
Joe: I didn’t know about that, but I do know he’s an engineer.
Chris: That guy’s handy with a tire, I’ll tell you that. But I always felt bad, I had some super bad shit going on, I had to drop out of that show, and lost touch with Joe, and I always regretted that because he was a really nice guy.
Joe: How did you get involved with working for Weird New Jersey?
Chris: I just had all these strange things sort of randomly happen to me, I’m realizing during this interview like the Go Metric! thing getting thrown. The Weird New Jersey thing, I grew up out there, you’re from there too, right?
Joe: Yeah.
Chris: What part?
Joe: Up in Bergen County.
Chris: I grew up in West Orange, like right on the border of Montclair, so I always used to walk to Montclair because there was a record store there called Let It Rock, did you ever go there?
Joe: I haven’t been there, no. I’ve been to Vintage Vinyl a bunch of times though.
Chris: Is that Fords?
Joe: I believe so, yes.
Chris: Yeah. Let It Rock was this little store on Bloomfield Avenue in Montclair, that just sold mostly vinyl, they sold CD’s just a few years before it closed down. But it was just this guy Bob, who’s kind of legendarily stand-off-ish, and never talked to anyone who came in, and you’d always be embarrassed if you bought some 7” and he thought it was cheesy, and you’d always be worried about what he thought. I used to go over by there and buy records, and one day I was walking back on my way home I’d always go past this comic book store to see what they had, and in the window there was a copy of Weird New Jersey, and I was like “That looks AWESOME,” and went in.

I was maybe sixteen at the time, and just started e-mailing them about shit, from around West Orange where I grew up, and it turned out that one of the publishers lived literally two blocks away from me. So I was writing him, like “There’s this guy on Main Street in West Orange, he throws his pennies and then runs up and yells at them,” and he wrote back, “I know that guy, I see him all the time.” So we kind of hit it off when I was just a kid. Then when I was in college at Rutgers, at the very end of my sophomore year I e-mailed him and was like “You know if you guys ever need help, I’m in college and have nothing to do,” and he wrote back that day, like “This is really odd, but we were just about to call you to see if you wanted to come work for us.” And I’ve been working for them on some level ever since, which is the most fun job in the world.
Joe: And you were also the main person in charge of the Weird New York book?
Chris: Yeah, I did that all myself. There were a lot of contributors, but that was kind of put in my hands which was really nice of those guys. I had moved out to Queens in 2004, after a short stint in LA, and when I got back I started freelancing and editing for Weird NJ again, and that was right when they had published a book called Weird US, that became pretty surprisingly big. It got them a lot of press so they started going state by state, and I did New York, which was just fun. It’s just fun that my job at times has been like “Drive around, take pictures of an abandoned mental hospital.” But I also was at Weird NJ when it was the two guys working out of their houses, so it was me and the one guy in his little spare bedroom. I lifted boxes, drove all over making deliveries. When their mailing list was only four thousand people, it was me licking four thousand stamps. It was pretty funny to be there when it was that small, and now it’s so big. I mean, their office is still just them, but they have all these books, and it’s such like a big success. But if there’s anybody who deserves it, those guys do. But yeah, Weird New York was great to work on, I feel like that was a great accomplishment that I’m proud of. I hope that doesn’t sound conceited.
Joe: I remember you mentioned once how after the book was finished, and you were done promoting it, you said you took a month off, but you started to get a feeling that you “Needed to get your ass kicked” again. What did you do?
Chris: Well, it was actually more than a month. I’d said a month, because Weird New York was like a full year of every day, researching, writing, driving around, taking pictures, and editing, it was a pretty intense process. And before that was four full years of doing Weird New Jersey, which was kind of preparing for that. So I was like “I’ll give myself a month off,” and then it became two months, three months, and it was getting dangerous, so I signed up for Brazillian jiu jitsu classes. I weigh 145 pounds, and have a joint disease that my Mother had, and I’m just the worst person for it, but I’ve had a lot of fun with it. I entered a tournament and got beat in less than three minutes, a guy ripped my arm out of its socket, which was not pleasant. Actually as of this week, I think I’m going to quit, because I pinched a nerve in my back, and in my left knee, I popped this thing called your bursar sac, so my left knee, it’s super swollen. And I’m like “I’m getting injured left and right, I’m a young man, I don’t want to be crippled before I’m thirty.” So I think I’m going to quit, but I do like to get involved in strange things from time to time, and jiu jitsu is definitely one of them, it’s just like Brazilian men fighting me.

I got good enough that they let me into the advanced classes, but I was easily the worst person in there, and the smallest, so I was kind of like the mascot. So when the black belts wanted someone to fight on an easy day they’d be like “You, lets spar.” And one guy once, this one black belt grabbed me, turned around and threw me head over heels, before I could react at all, hoisted me back to me feet and threw me again in the other direction and pinned me down and said “You wanna talk about it?” and I was like “This is BRUTAL,” but it’s very fun. But I think I may wrap it up and find a new weird hobby.
Joe: You said you’re also a fan of “Unplanned public craziness”, as well as people hitting their breaking points?
Chris: Yeah, I think that’s a real fun thing to witness, when people go nuts. And I know I’ve had some kind of public breakdowns that have led to some very bad moments in my life, but some very creative things. I feel like it’s just inspiring to see someone go nuts. When I lived in Astoria I remember once walking home and just seeing a guy pissing in the middle of the street and we made direct eye contact. I was just “I thought this was a good neighborhood,” and he shakes his head and says “Not so much man,” as he’s peeing. I was like “Man, that’s amazing.” Even just today I saw a good one, where I was on an escalator, it was one of those subway stations with the escalator to transfer that’s just super steep, and these girls were walking down and bumped into this guy who just goes “OH, I GUESS YOU CAN’T SEE ME.” And they turn around, and he’s like “DO YOU SEE ME NOW? AM I A GHOST, OR DO YOU SEE ME?” And I see that and think that’s kind of why I get out of bed in the morning, sometimes just to see people meltdown in public. I just find it very inspiring.
Joe: Another quote of yours is: “Most of my comedic career is doing a more socially palatable version of my brother’s real life.”
Chris: Yeah, that’s true. The town where grew up, I don’t know if it was the same for you, or just around the time we grew up, it was just fucking weird all the time. There were all these burnout greasers, and everyone around us was just constantly trying to look tough.
Joe: Right. I think it was like that for me too, just different styles of cliques.
Chris: I had the luxury of being two years younger than him, because he went through life and was just blindsided by maniacs, and bullies, and I just kind of got to come up behind him and see how it worked. I kind of feel like my brother is kind of the one who inspired me to start doing this. He dealt with it all by being this funny and weird guy, like he used to wear an orange corduroy jumpsuit to school, he looked like Devo, and he was always just super funny [Smiles]. I actually do this bit, I did a show and people still ask me about it which is kind of embarrassing, where I pretended I was Daryl Strawberry. And that was his idea, he used to do that, during college there were these hippies that ran a coffee house open mic, and he used to go and read selections from Daryl Strawberry’s autobiography, and just go on and on and ruin their open mic night, and I was like “That’s amazing.”

I definitely feel like I got my humor in the same way that my brother kind of was part of a music scene that I locked into, like comedy, he’s always had great taste, and always been kind of a strange, ballsy guy in his own right. I definitely think because he kind of leading the charge and taking it on the chin growing up, he definitely has always been more of a loose cannon, so I was always like “Oh, I see what he’s doing there,” and able to control it more. But we have a pretty good relationship like that. He does comedy too now, down in Philadelphia.
Joe: What made you decide to start Nights of Our Lives?
Chris: It was February 2006, and I’d had the idea kicking around for a while. Really what it was, at this theater, I feel like it’s a really good community in the same way that music communities can be, there’s a lot of talented people around here, and you see someone set the bar, and you want to be as good as them, and you want to match the standards that are set, and I think they have that in common. UCB has always had great improv, and great sketch, and it started to have more of a stand up influence, but I knew a lot of people from around here who were just, simply put, great story tellers. There’s a bar called McManus that all the comedians hang out at, like Curtis Gwinn, who has done so many of the Nights of our Lives shows. You put that guy in a bar and have ten people watch him, and he’ll hold court, and have people crying with his stories. And there are a lot of people like that. I don’t think I’m half as good as Curtis is, but I grew up and my whole family was that way, the way I think I learned what funny was by listening to my Aunts and my Mom sit around telling stories about their horrible childhoods, but laughing about it, so I knew that I liked story telling. There were a bunch people who were really good at it around the bar, and there were all these other story telling shows in the city that I think were good, but back then I think they leaned a little bit towards the pretentious side, like a little bit towards having a message, and a point. But there wasn’t something like “Let’s take people doing what they naturally do with their friends, and throw it on stage,” and we had the luxury to do that. The real coup to that was I’ve known Dave Martin for years, who’s our host. He’s always had that vibe about him where he has sort of a faux pretentiousness about him, and I was like “I bet he could do the most pretentious character as the host,” and he does. I feel like he’s the heart and soul of the show. He’s just such a fucking funny, weird dude. So that’s kind of how it came together, like “We should have all these funny people I know tell stories, and Dave who’s the fake version of a pretentious host.” And I was psyched, Faloon did the first one, [Laughs] I keep bringing it back to music. But it’s the most fun show.
Joe: The last question I have is about your newest “project,” called Gallagher Three.
Chris: Oh yeah, I hope I can keep that going. I’m kind of embarrassed about it; I’ve been going around dressing up like Gallagher which makes me kind of ashamed, because the other thing I think I’m most known for is going around dressed up like Daryl Strawberry. So I feel like that’s probably really bad as a creative person, like that’d be known as being in two gimmicky cover bands [Laughs]. But the premise is that Gallagher sued his brother for smashing watermelons, so I’m going to smash watermelons and challenge him to sue me so that comedians can feel free and creative again. I’ve done it a few times, it generally gets a good reaction, but it’s this weird thing where it’s not even people laughing. I’ve been doing comedy for a pretty long time now, I don’t know that I’m great, or wildly successful, but I’m pretty experienced, and I have a pretty good feeling about most of the things I do. But this doesn’t even get laughs so much as a weird adrenaline from the crowd. I had people come up on stage and one guy hit the stool and smashed it into pieces, UCB got a little upset with me. It’s definitely an event every time I do one, I want to keep those going.

In November I’m going to start work shopping a one man show where I tell all my different stories from Nights of Our Lives, and my Mom is going to be the co-star, so that should be pretty weird. Mostly I just like to do things that are weird, and funny [Laughs].

Used Kids Interview Fall '08

2009-07-05T15:40:00.000-07:00

This was an interview with The Used Kids, done in Brooklyn just shortly before The Fest VII. The plan was to do it for Razorcake, and be published right around the time their first full length was released, but then a lot of time passed in between, and it became outdated (most notably, the fact that Mike is no longer in the band). So, this is, theoretically, an "unreleased" interview.

Nate: Guitar and vocals

Dan: Bass and vocals

Kate: Guitar and vocals

Mike: Drums

Joe: All four of you come from places known for having a lot of hometown pride (Nate and Dan from Wisconsin, Mike from New Jersey). Let’s talk about that.

Nate: Wisconsin and New Jersey both have in common being states that are somewhat overlooked, because they’re both next to big cities full of assholes.

Joe: Kate, do you have Long Island pride?

Kate: No, none.

Dan: That’s not true! Listen, I recently got into Billy Joel’s album Glass Houses, and I didn’t even like Billy Joel, ever. I thought it was crappy adult contemporary bullshit. And then Kate brings her Billy Joel tape on tour, puts it in, and she’s singing along, knows every word, and I’m just thinking “Man this power pop sounds like The Beat”, and it turns out that it’s Billy Joel. So I thank her for that, but that’s her Long Island pride.

Kate: I guess I have a little bit.

Nate: I really like Wisconsin, Minnesota, and the upper peninsula of Michigan. Like I sort of think they should secede from America and form a new country called “The Superior People’s Republic”. The capital would be Superior, on Lake Superior.

Kate: And you’d be the emperor.

Nate: No, I would be President for life.

Dan: I would like to say at this point that Nate definitely was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party, who aligns themselves with crazy, right-wing militias, like people who bury AK47’s out behind the shed.

Nate: They wrap them in plastic, and then bury them.

Dan: So I’m the leftist of the band. These other two have no political views.

Joe: Wisconsin tangent number one; How important is Brett Favre to the Used Kids?

Nate: So important that I find myself now following the Jets more than the Packers.

Dan: You’d read about Minor Threat being like “You know, we have a show in New York, there’s no way we’re missing it, and we’ll do anything to get there.” It’s kind of like that Brett Favre mentality, “Have to play on Sunday? Take seventeen vicodin.” Just like the Used Kids.

Nate: That’s more of a “when” than an “if”.

Dan: Seventeen years straight without missing a start. That’s definitely an inspiration for us.

Joe: That’s kind of poetic. How many Favre jerseys do you own?

Dan: Only one, but I’d like to point out that I got it just after his first season with the Packers. You’d open the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and go to the sports section and there would be people complaining, how “we need to get rid of this guy, all he does is throw interceptions,” but look what happened; He’s like the best quarterback of all time.

Nate: I don’t like to buy official sports memorabilia. Not to be all stupid and CrimethInc. about this, but I hate supporting the behemoths of professional sports with my money. I don’t even really like buying tickets to baseball games, which I do about twenty times a year. I say support your local minor league team. I do own one Packers jersey though, but it’s not Brett Favre, it’s Mark Chmura. [To Dan] Do you remember that scandal?

Dan: [Nodding] Yes.

Nate: He was a tight end on the Packers in the glory days of the ‘90s, and he was caught at a party in a county near Milwaukee, full of rich Republicans.

Mike: “When is it NOT a good idea to be in a hot tub full of liquored up high school chicks?” [Laughter]

Nate: That’s true, he WAS in a hot tub full of liquored up high school chicks, and they caught him. I was working at Good Will at the time, and someone gave away their Mark Chmura jersey just after this happened. I was in charge of taking donations, so I took that one. I donated it to myself. So Mark Chmura, wherever you are, thanks!

Joe: Wisconsin tangent number two: Nate, do you strive to be like Reverend Nǿrb?

Dan: In all fairness, Nate hasn’t worn his antler helmet in probably a good two years.

Nate: Honestly, Nǿrb was a very big influence on me. He’s a funny guy, who knows a lot about music. There are similarities that are sort of incidental, because before I even knew who Nǿrb was I sounded like him, talked like him, gesticulated around like him and nerded out like him.

Kate: And you introduce all of our songs, just not as well as he does.

Dan: I saw Nate in a band before I was in The Shrubbers, he actually was doing this for a while [Pointing his finger and moving his hand up and down].

Nate: I couldn’t help it. This is why I don’t front bands without a guitar in my hand anymore.

Joe: So how long have the two of you (Nate and Dan) been in bands together now?

Nate: Since March of 1998.

Dan: That’s when I actually joined (The Shrubbers).

Joe: How would you describe living in Brooklyn, after having lived in Milwaukee for so long?

Dan: Obviously it’s a much bigger city, and more diverse, but I always find myself defending Milwaukee. Like a lot of people here don’t even know where it is, and just assume it’s full of ignorant right-wingers; they should just go there before they start making assumptions, because I think there’s more challenging music, and all kinds of stuff going on there than people would expect. Also the scene there is really tight knit, and everyone’s friends with each other, and that’s something that’s kind of lacking here.

Nate: I mainly think about the fact that the bars cost more, rent costs more, and I have to work more to have less free time. That’s annoying. However, there’s more stuff to do. That’s kind of cool. Also since we started using our band van to do “Man with a Van” (moving) jobs on Craigslist, that’s really helped out paying the bills.

Kate: Are you going to give out your phone number here too?

Nate: No, I don’t think I want anyone who’d be reading this sort of interview to hire me. I hate working for my friends because I have to give them discounts.

Dan: I DO like moving my friends. Call me and I’ll move your stuff!

Nate: Sometimes I find myself wishing I was still living in Milwaukee, but I moved here for a reason. There were more people here into playing the kind of songs I want to play, and as far as that goes I have not been let down at all. So my overriding reason for living here and not Milwaukee is still solid gold.

Joe: Dan, how often do you travel?

Dan: It’s interesting, for a long time while I was in the Modern Machines I’d be away three or four months out of the year just from touring, so there was a lot of traveling that I’d wanted to do that I just wasn’t able to. Then I moved, and this band wasn’t really active for another year, so in that year I went to Latin America a few times.

Kate: And you just got back from Nicaragua.

Dan: Yeah. I like to travel, so whenever I get back from a big trip I’m already thinking about where I want to go next. There’s no real regular time table though.

Joe: Mike, when were you quoted in (local newspaper) The Star Ledger?

Mike: I don’t appreciate you Megan Pants-ing me. But I take the train a lot, so one day I show up to the station and there’s a news crew there. Apparently some guy had tried to jump over and cross the tracks while a train was coming, and was hit. So The Star Ledger was just asking people questions and they asked me how often I took the train. I said two or three times a week, and they ask “Do you ever get nervous about getting hit by a train?” and my response was “No, because I’ve never been stupid enough to cross the tracks while a train was coming.” [Laughter]

Nate: The Straight Talk express.

Mike: And that got quoted in The Star Ledger, and my Mom cut it out and was so proud of me. It was very nice.

Joe: How do you pronounce this word? [Writes out “Chorizo”]

Dan: “Chowda!”

Mike: “Get it right!”

Nate: Delicious.

Dan: If you’re a gringo like Nate, you pronounce the “zeta” as if it’s z. But really it’s more of an “s” sound.

Nate: Chore-ee-zo.

Joe: And what is your reasoning for doing so?

Nate: I’ve always thought that it would be cool to live in a foreign country and have a classy accent, like some of these people I meet from Greece. And they have cool foreign accents, but they speak perfect English. So I’m thinking to myself “Maybe one day I’ll live in Spain, or Argentina” and I’ll have a cool gringo accent where I’ll pronounce things as if I’m from America but I’ll speak perfect Spanish.

Kate: I hate when people try to pronounce things like that’s where they’re from.

Nate: If I hear someone say I’m going to “Chilé” or “Guat-a-mala” [Stressing accents], I’m going to punch them in the face.

Dan: But hold on a second. I was just over at the deli and got a sandwich. The owner spoke Spanish, and there was some confusion in my order until I spoke with the right accent. So it’s like if you don’t do the accent, it’s harder to understand.

Kate: I’m just talking about when my Mom says “Moot-za-rellla”, and I’m like “Shut up.” [Laughter]

Joe: Nate, what was wrong with the Descendents record Cool To Be You?

Nate: I had a problem with the fact that all “he” wanted to do was sit in his living room, and see what was on the ‘tube, while hanging out with a girl.

Mike: You mean the argument that he’s not going for ALL in that song?

Nate: That’s right.

Mike: Oh come on. It’s a pop song!

Dan: He’s “Going for ALL” in his romantic life. You have to compartmentalize how you’re trying to achieve ALL.

Mike: Let me tell you, he’s probably committing hygiene for this girl too. [Laughter] Fuckin’ give me a break.

Dan: But no decaf. Couldn’t go that far.

Nate: But I do love the Descendents. Just sayin’. Because just in case you were wondering, the Descendents are probably one of the top ten coolest bands ever.

Mike: One of the two coolest bands ever.

Nate: I don’t know, once I heard The Ergs! there was no looking back.

Mike: Oh shut up. I don’t know who that is. [Sarcastic tone]

Nate: You have to put “[Sarcastic tone]” after that part. Before what I just said.

Joe: Nate, what’s your time capsule theory about songs?

Nate: I think that every band worth anything has one song that should be put in a time capsule. It’s not necessarily your favorite, or their best, but one that really sums up what that band is all about. For example, my favorite Ramones song is not “Blitzkrieg Bop” or “I Wanna Be Sedated”. The Ramones are so good that they have about four or five time capsule songs. You hardly ever get a band with more than two or three. My favorite Ramones song is probably “Commando”, but I don’t think that’s a time capsule song. I think “Blitzkrieg” and “Sedated”, and maybe a couple others. That’s my theory, I hope it makes sense. If there’s nuclear war and almost all of humanity is wiped out and they try to piece together early twenty-first century culture, I think I want them to start with “Blitzkrieg Bop” and “I Wanna Be Sedated” instead of “Commando” and “Crummy Stuff”.

Joe: How is the city of Gainesville important to you?

Mike: Because it feels like summer in October. And I wish this interview was never over.

Dan: It’s a place that’s very like-minded with us, the fact that they like to party, and cook food together and watch sports. To them the music scene is about having a good time, and to me it’s about music and good times. It’s not about advancing Nate’s CrimethInc. agenda. [Laughter]

Nate: There’s only so much you can put in this interview, so I’m almost afraid to even begin talking about Gainesville.

Dan: I didn’t think you’d ever say “I’m afraid to begin talking”.

Nate: It’s like the Patton Oswald open mic guy from Toronto (bit), I don’t even know where to start or where to begin. I’m feeling that right now. Tom Petty’s from there, and I don’t think there’s anyone who’s been as much of a musical influence on me as much as Tom Petty. And there’s been so many great shows in the past there, so many great memories, and conversely some pretty great blackouts.

Dan: There’s been some great night-nude swimming there.

Nate: That’s right, I went swimming in a hot tub full of naked ladies there. That’s not true. It was a swimming pool. And it wasn’t filled, there were only a few. But Dan was there.

Dan: I was the only one out of all of us that was actually naked.

Nate: Dan’s like that – the frank and beans make many appearances.

Joe: And Nate, how many Gainesville related tattoos do you have?

Nate: I have a little element sign for Radon on my left calf, I’ve got a Tom Petty heart with a guitar through it on my left forearm. I have a street map tattooed on the palm of my right hand, and a palm tree tattooed on the street map. On my left foot.

Dan: [Laughing] “I have a butt tattoo on my butt, in the shape of a butt.”

Nate: One more thing about Gainesville, the Fest is something I look forward to every year. That’s my Christmas, New Years, Halloween, and Arbor Day all rolled into one.

Kate: I was able to sneak in the first year I went, because I was underage. So it all worked out.

Joe: So Mike and Kate were technically “in” the Modern Machines, before you became the Used Kids.

Mike: Not technically. We were actually in the Modern Machines Hovercraft.

[Nate and Dan making “whoosh” sounds]

Kate: It’s like how Jefferson Airplane turned into Jefferson Starship, the Modern Machines turned into the Modern Machines Hovercraft.

Joe: I don’t believe that one bit.

Dan: It’s true that we did play a few shows under the name “Modern Machines Hovercraft”, but we also had a ton of new songs by then, and I think we’d play two old Modern Machines songs per set.

Kate: I think there was one show where we did all Modern Machines songs, and one Used Kids “cover”.

Mike: I think the only Modern Machines shows we did were the Carlapalooza (MS Benefit) and the Fest.

Joe: There was Carlapalooza, the Fest and a show at the Passout Records store as a trio.

Mike: Yeah, I think it was when Kate joined that we changed to Hovercraft.

Dan: I think it’s fair to say that Mike actually did, but I would like to go back and erase that from the record, and just say that was the band Hovercraft.

Joe: I also distinctly remember that show at The Cake Shop with The Figgs, that Kate definitely played.

Mike: I guess that wasn’t the Used Kids yet.

Dan: We had definitely intended on changing the name, but it took us so long to think of one. We were trying for like three months; I still have the list, of about fifty names.

Kate: And every time, everyone on the internet hated it.

Nate: I believe that’s a symptom of everyone on the internet hating us. That’s not true.

Dan: [Pointing at Joe] Let the man do his work!

Joe: How are the Used Kids an American band?

Mike: We were born in the USA.

Joe: Why else?

Dan: Well, as opposed to Wasil, Alaska, we are not actually a microcosm of America.

Mike: I’d just like to say we’re all Mavericks.

Nate: Whatever kind of music we play, it’s deeply rooted in all that great American rock’n’roll. I mean it comes from this country, I’m not really influenced by much that didn’t come out of the Mississippi, Delta, or Appalachian region in some way, shape, or form.

Dan: But a lot of that stuff came from the Caribbean via crossed with Ireland, crossed with via Africa.

Nate: But that’s not rock’n’roll, those are the precursors. I’ll say I love America, but I have a shit-ton of problems with it to. So as such, we’re an American band, and that’s fine with me.

Mike: We were eight years old, runnin’ with a diamond ring.

Nate: Yup. A big old Buick. That’s what we tour in. And most importantly, we’re an American band because we can’t be a Canadian band.

Joe: How come the Used Kids aren’t a pee-jug band, if the Modern Machines were?

Mike: First of all, Kate can’t do that.

Nate: That’s not true, she could buy a funnel.

Joe: I’d like to point out though, that I’ve seen Modern Machines tours that had ladies accompanying them, who had no problem using a pee jug.

Dan: I’d like to point out my favorite quote about the pee jug, when Nate Schmoe was our roadie, and he was talking to his wife on the telephone telling her about it, and she says “If you put your penis into that, you’re not putting it into me.” [Laughter] Because we had this jug for so long, and it had band stickers on it, and we were reusing the same jug for a long time. But you don’t put your penis INTO it, you just kind of hover above.

Mike: [Makes “whoosh” noise]

Nate: When used correctly, it’s an efficient, time saving device.

Mike: I’m actually pee shy though. But when you’re in the Modern Machines, you sleep late, you go everywhere late…

Nate: I don’t like getting anywhere on time.

Joe: Do you have a specific policy regarding getting anywhere on time?

Kate: Me and Mike are always up first.

Dan: Sometimes I’ll get up first. Between the three of us, one of us gets up first. But Nate is always the last to get up.

Nate: “Oooh, look at me, I wake up the earliest, I must be the coolest kid in school.”

Dan: Also on tour, Nate doesn’t know when to go to bed. So we’re all going to bed at a reasonable time, resting, and saving our energy, Nate is hanging out in an attic, in Lansing, Michigan, with two drunk locals, playing guitar until five in the morning.

Nate: I’ll say this: I stay up late, but you guys don’t know how much cool stuff happens after you go to sleep.

Dan: Nate does more before five AM than we do all day.

Kate: I like going to sleep early, because sleeping is the closest thing to death. [Laughter]

Dan: I like to be on time, but it gets tough.

Kate: I have a question, how is going on tour with us when neither Nate or I will wake up?

Joe: It’s worth it when it ends up with fireworks being shot at the house.

Mike: “Nate, you’re not even holding that the right way!” [Laughter]

Joe: To be fair, they did actually shoot out at the house.

Mike: And not into the van while we were in it.

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Record Reviews U - Z

2008-06-23T17:48:00.001-07:00

(Label) [Original Publication]

UNSACRED HEARTS, THE: In Defense of Fort Useless: CD
It sounds like these guys listen to tons of Operation Ivy. Granted, this isn’t really punk, and I can’t really say that it’s as good as Operation Ivy, but I mean come on – that would just be silly. It’s not bad. (Serious Business) [Jersey Beat]

V/A: The Altercation Punk Comedy Tour – Metal Up Live: CD

I feel like there’s been a gradual but ongoing crossover between music and comedy over the past few years. I like that. And much like more and more bands taking the DIY route and booking their own shows in whatever unconventional venues, I like the idea of different styles of artists taking that same approach. Such is the case here, with four “punk rock” comedians who took that same approach. I couldn’t help but feel that a lot of the “punk” elements of the routines revolved around shock value and stories about getting fucked up, which was a little disappointing (don’t get me wrong, I love me some Redd Foxx, but I can’t help but feel like it’s a really easy go-to, and cheapens the whole thing when it gets overdone), but there’s still some pretty great laughs amongst the four tracks here. I’d be interested in seeing what they do down the line. (Altercation) [Razorcake]

VARIOUS ARTISTS: And You’ll Spin: A Tribute to Big Drill Car: CD

I’ll be honest, I’m not the most knowledgeable guy about Big Drill Car, but I love me some Descendents, ALL, and similar stuff ( often jazzy, etc.). Not to mention I already know of two of the bands on here that are local to me (Amber Jets and Groucho Marxists) that go nuts over all that stuff. For a compilation, it flows pretty smoothly as all the covers are pretty straight forward, which is impressive since some of these recordings are a few years old. I’m going to say if you haven’t checked them out yet, this isn’t a bad way to get into Big Drill Car. (Itchy Korean) [Razorcake]

VARIOUS ARTISTS – Anti-Disco League vol/ 1: CD
Yikes, this looks like an Oi! comp, and my last experience with Oi! was getting a boot to the head while watching Hard Skin. Anyway, it’s an old 70’s street punk/Oi! style comp, there’s some ok songs, there’s some bad ones, you know the routine by now. (Temple Comb) [Jersey Beat]

VARIOUS ARTISTS – “Black on Black: A Tribute to Black Flag” CD
Tribute records are often questionable, this one’s in the middle. Not that I’m a first hand witness, but most of Black Flag’s edge came from the fact that they were most likely a bunch of completely insane individuals. However, most of these bands sound as if it’s a “Who can play faster/with more distortion/more growling” competition, and seems like it’s missing the point. There are some decent tracks with good grooves though. I’d say this is geared towards modern Flag enthusiasts, who still buy records made after 1988. (Reignition) [Jersey Beat]

VARIOUS ARTISTS: New York VS New Jersey Punk Rock Battle Royale!: CD
I’m so torn on this. On the pro side: This is a great comp. The point is to listen to the songs (with bands from both states, including The Ergs!, Unlovables, Hunchback, Steinways, and more) and vote on which ones you like best (with the winning bands from each state doing another 7” of their own, and will then “square off” from there so to speak). It makes this more than just another product for people to buy, offering incentive for people to really take some more interest into this sort of thing. It’s very Minutemen-esque in my opinion. On the con side: I’m going to have to listen to so many New Yorkers telling me why they’re so much better than everywhere else in the world, it’s not even funny. (Crafty) [Razorcake]

VARIOUS ARTISTS: Open 24 Hours: CD

I haven’t seen a comp like this in a while; One that isn’t a label sampler so much as an audio blue print. Still, it’s all pretty much just straight up pop punk, a few pleasant surprises, I don’t think there’s anything particularly hard to find or unreleased, and it gets to be a little much for me at times. But, if you’re one of those “I ONLY like Lookout! and Mutant Pop” types, then this should be right up your alley. (Diner Junkie) [Razorcake]

VARIOUS ARTISTS: Spastics Music Volume One: CD
I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure this is a collection of bands from the Midwest. I couldn’t find any label info (the website they provide didn’t work for me), but there’s a number of weird indie rock/post punk bands (some that sound a lot like Girls Vs. Boys, one that sounded like Against Me! by way of Hootie and the Blowfish), as well as one of my favorite Modern Machines songs. Other than that, the other highlights to me were the Crossed Wires and PB Army songs. I’d be interested to hear what else the label’s up to, if I could find any info on it. (Spastics) [Razorcake]

VARIOUS ARTISTS: Under The Radar: Volume 1: CD
From the looks of the cover, I initially thought this was going to be all sorts of crazy metal, but as the old saying goes, I was wrong. Here are 22 different bands that actually span a decent variety, from trashy rock, to some acoustic stuff, to weird noise. There still seemed to be a long block of “I love drugs and murdering people” songs, which I couldn’t really get into on account that I don’t do either. This is more of a “See if there’s anything you like” kind of record. (Antidote) [Razorcake]

VARSITY WEIRDOS, THE: Fly Me Up To The Moon: 7” EP

“Don’t Back Down” by The Queers paced pop punk, only the singer isn’t trying to cop Brian Williams. I’ve mentioned it before, if you’re into pop punk, watch It’s Alive, because this came on colored vinyl, with a poster, and fancy CDR, so you know they don’t mess around. Also, I’m going to point out that one of the dudes on the cover of this is wearing nearly the same Soviettes shirt as I am now, so I like the cut of his jib. (It’s Alive) [Razorcake]

VENA CAVA: Weapons Of Mass Communication: CDEP

Vena Cava accomplishes something great; they manage to take the weird, quirky, yet interesting musicianship often found in post punk bands (like Hot Snakes, for a quick example) and put it into some damn creative DIY punk. This EP is another perfect example. (ADD) [Razorcake]

VISITORS, THE: Tropic of Cancer: 7”

Pleasant surprise; Pop punk, but with more of a ‘70s thing going on than a shitty Queers/Weasel-core thing. There’s rotating female/male vocals that help keep it interesting as well. The whole thing is put together quite nicely to boot, with nice art, crazy looking vinyl, and a download postcard. I’m into it. (House Party) [Razorcake]

WELCOME HOME WALKER: Don’t Let Me Go b/w Second Hand Store: 7”

This 7” came with a note mentioning “members of the Soda Pop Kids and From Ashes Rise”. Well color ME intrigued. This is some garage tinged power pop, that’s pretty awesome. (Gone Home) [Razorcake]

XASTHUR: Subliminal Genocide: CD

Yeah yeah yeah, “most earsplitting record ever”. I’d agree, if it weren’t the most boring thing ever. I’m not even sure how this can be considered metal per se; musically, it just sounds like weird, creepy atmosphere for some haunted temple or something. The vocals (which are often sparse) are so over the top “rawr rawr rawr” growl-y that they not only don’t even sound human (and this is coming from a Spazz fan), BUT they sound like the microphone was in one room, and the wild animal that made the noise was in another. Don’t try to pull the “oh, you just don’t UNDERSTAND it” card on me. Oh, I understand it, it’s supposed to be all scary and intimidating. That doesn’t keep it from being boring as hell. (Hydra Head) [Jersey Beat]

XXXMANIAK: Harvesting the Cunt Nectar: CD

Grind/”We’re dirtbags”-core: It’s all blast beats and samples from weird snuff porn. I can’t say I know for sure, but I’d be willing to bet if you called them up they’d be all “Why hello, how are you today?” (Self Made God) [Jersey Beat]

ZATOPEKS, THE: Damn Fool Music: CD
The latest release from these prolific Europeans, who are known for their take on pop punk crossed with rock’n’roll. They seem to try to take things a little further on this one as well, with some subtle indie rock and jazz influences (especially on “Daily Mail”, which is one of my favorite tracks on the record). Other miscellaneous thoughts that popped into my head while listening involved wondering if Sonic Iguana had moved to overseas, and that the vocals sounding like a pop punk cross between Jello Biafra and Leonard Graves Phillips. (Whoa Oh) [Razorcake]

www.manofinfirmity.blogspot.com

Record Reviews P - T

2008-06-23T17:47:00.004-07:00

(Label) [Original Publication]

PAINT IT BLACK: New Lexicon: CD
Paint It Black were one of my favorite bands in college (not that I stopped liking them, more of one of those “I’m in love with a different band/girl every week” kind of deals). I liked that the first record was essentially a “lets just DO this” kind of a hardcore record. I liked that Paradise started to branch out into some more melodic territory. This one takes the best of both worlds (I started listening thinking “Man, this sounds WAY more brutal”, and then “No, this is WAY poppier”), but now there’s some interesting electronic/hip-hop/noise stuff going on as well (though to be honest, it’s mostly transitional between the songs). It’s “lets see where we can take this” and not “lets rehash the last record again”. I like it. Seriously though, get me one of those record release 7”s. (Jade Tree) [Razorcake]

PALUMBO: Citizen X: CD
WHOA HEY WHAT’S UP 80’S PRODUCTION? This record screams “Vintage Apple commercial” to me. (Winthrop Media) [Jersey Beat]

PATENT PENDING: Save the Children, The Whales Are Doing Fine: CD
Sublime 2000. I’m going to assume this was recorded not in a crack house, but a crack mansion. (WPO) [Jersey Beat]

PEABODYS, THE: The Future Will Kill You: 2x7” EP

The first time I ever heard The Peabodys was on their split 7” with The Steinways, so I think it’s funny that a bunch of these songs are under a minute long (as per old Steinways material). Musically, it’s pretty straight forward pop punk, making it fitting that this is one of the label’s “Comeback” 7”s as it’s just what I would’ve expected from it. While I got the shaft on colored vinyl, this did come with a bonus one sided 7” with a Screeching Weasel cover that probably is better than the original. (Mutant Pop) [Razorcake]

PELLINORE: Memento Mori/Hell Mouth: CD
Is this a new band with ex member of Tear It Up? That was my first impression, how I thought this sounded like a Havoc records band, with a touch more metal to them. It’s a little bit of a grower, but I still enjoyed it. (Strike 3) [Razorcake]

PILLOWFIGHTS, THE: Demo: CDR

Pop punk that’s of a more modern style than mid ‘90s rehashes. Overall, it sounded like the self-titled Limetime record, with Unlovables style vovals. This demo also has a bunch of different stuff, ranging from songs that were recorded in a decent studio, and some off a cell phone. I like it. And I haven’t seen for myself, but I hear they actually have pillowfights at their shows. If so, that rules. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

PORTUGAL. THE MAN: Waiter: You Vultures!: CD
This threw me for a huge loop. I saw that Fearless was involved and expected hipster mall punk, but this is just weird – I’d say it’s more hipster pretentious art rock. It’s pretty safe to say it’s bands like this that make me scared to tell my punk friends that I actually like quite a bit of indie rock. The record starts out fairly quiet and reserved, and out of nowhere gets incredibly loud and boom-y, but they should be reminded that you won’t sound tough from swearing when you’re singing in some odd, high pitched falsetto tone. (Fearless) [Jersey Beat]

PRETTY WHORES: Teens Of USA: CD

Admittedly, upon looking at this and seeing the name, I assumed I’d hate it (judging from the name and packaging, figuring it was some Warped Tour “I hate my girlfriend, ergo all girls” emo/punk pop). But after listening to it, it kind of sounds like a pop punk band trying to sound like The Hives. It’s not bad, though if they tried to sound like Henry Fiat’s Open Sore, THEN they’d really be on to something. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

PRIDEMORE, BROOKE: The Reflecting Skin: CD
Mike (Erg) turned me on to this, mainly because he played on it. I wasn’t familiar with it much before hand, but I want to call this indie-folk punk, that most of my friends could probably enjoy (even the ones that don’t spend hours looking for Japanese hardcore band LP’s). Specifically, people who think that John Samson is still one bad dude will especially enjoy this. Apparently Crafty put this out, who run a tight ship – they seem very Plan-It-X-ish, but with more of a “This is just how we like to do things, we hope you like it” kind of vibe to it. Recommended. (Crafty) [Jersey Beat]

PRIZY PRIZY PLEASE: Self-titled: CD
So I first heard of these guys after a bunch of praise from my friend/their label mate Jimmy of The Sass Dragons. Then I get this, with a fancy little promo/press sheet, which includes “RIYL Talking Heads, They Might Be Giants, Fugazi, The Unicorns”. Ok, nothing wrong with that, it just threw me for a loop. Then I put it on, and establish “Yeah, They Might Be Giants if they were some crazy, tiny record store/warehouse playing hyper punk band” (and don’t get me wrong, I LOVE me some TMBG). Calling this indie rock is an insult to innovative/creative punk bands. (Let’s Pretend) [Razorcake]

PROCLAMATION, THE: Self-Titled: CDR

Fairly mellow lo-fi indie punk, with a touch of horns (without it actually being ska). Did/are you going to college (not a knock)? Are you a Plan-It-X type dude? Then this is probably what you’d want to listen to in the days before graduation, as you worry about the future and curse yourself over every minor mistake you’ve made over the past few years. (Let’s Pretend) [Razorcake]

PROHIBITION: Sorry For The Inconvenience: 7” EP
One of the latest in the ongoing series of punk bands coming out of Milwaukee that seems like it’ll never end, ever. First thing that comes to my mind when listening to this is that there’s a fairly heavy late ‘80s/East Bay influence to it. I’ll even say that the vocals remind me of really early Screeching Weasel, before everyone lost their shit over them. So basically what I’m saying is, this sounds like the first thing to go on the “The First 7”s Volume II” comp on Lookout! Also, there’s a zine/comic book instead of a plain insert, like they’re fuckin’ Gas Huffer or Less Than Jake or something. (Repulsion) [Razorcake]

PROJECT 27: Time To Fold: CDR
This is the CDR version of a 7", that came to me in a plastic bag, covered in fingerprints, to the point where it took a few tries to get it to play. I think the band name sums it up already (27 is known as some big punk thing, that everyone pretends to know what it means, by just using 27 any time a number is called for). This is fairly straight forward Ben Weasel-esque pop-punk with a slight modern touch to it (read as "Blink 182") right down to the name. I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that this “7”” came in a zip-lock bag, but at least it came with a bunch of other free patches, pins, and stickers, which is nice even for a horrible record, let alone this. (Don Giovanni) [Jersey Beat]

PRUNALOGSUSAN PENTAGRAM: 17 New Cutecore Blasts From: 7”

When you get something like this, you know there’s really no middle ground on it. Regardless, this is some late ‘90s noise stuff you’d find on Alternative Tentacles, like a WEIRDER Pachinko. Goddamn. (Trigger on the Dutendoo) [Razorcake]

PSYCHED TO DIE: Demo: TAPE

New-Jersey based super group, with members of bands you’ve most likely freaked out over before. Unlike the other efforts, this is more an early/straight forward SST and DC hardcore kind of band. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of early, thrashy F.Y.P. at times as well, but I guess that’s a side of being used to most of the vocals belting out pop punk. Pretty solid for a demo, and looking forward to more. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

QUEERS, THE: Alive In Hollyweird: CD/DVD

I can’t help but feel like this is the same as reviewing an issue of MRR. Do I really need to explain this? Does anyone NOT know what to expect? Because there isn’t really unexpected from this live album, unless you count that it comes with an ok DVD as well. (Punk Rock Social) [Razorcake]

RAMPANT BAND: Breakthrough/Breakdown: CD

Pretty standard alternative radio rock. It’s not that bad, but most of the songs are so long (there’s only one under three minutes, one over eight) that I had trouble paying attention after a little bit. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I demand everything be “ALL” short, but if you’re going to go this route, take the Superchunk route and have really strong, catchy riffs that you play the hell out of. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

RANDUMBS, THE: Its About Time…Again: LP
For some reason I thought this was a pop punk band because the name sounded familiar. Then I looked at the cover, and thought this was going to be some Crass-but not quite style band. Then I listened to it, and it kinda sounded like Against All Authority without the horns, and little edgier/gruffer. Lets leave it as I was half right on both accounts. (More Smart Than You) [Razorcake]

RED PHONE DISPATCH: Safety In Numbers: CD

I picked this up after I booked a show for these guys in New York City. In promoting the show, I described them as “like if Screeching Weasel was fronted by a used car salesman, and fun,” and I don’t think I can come up with anything better than that. After a self-released EP, this is a full albums worth of pop punk, with light hearted songs that have vocals that come at you a mile a minute. If you’re into pop punk, you should check these guys out. (Rally) [Razorcake]

REDUCERS S.F.:Raise Your Hackles: CD
I think this band totally rocks out (in the legitimately serious way, not the “I’m being sarcastic with an inside joke” kind of way). Old style, catchy street punk, like the kind you’re supposed to throw your fist in the air to. There’s Ramones-y buzzsaw guitar, with rockin’ (as mentioned before) solos thrown around for good measure. I really like this. (TKO) [Jersey Beat]

RESISTORS: Damaged Ugly & Loud: CD
A first effort from some dudes who have been around for a while. I mention that, because there’s some elements of mid ‘80s American hardcore (in the book’s sense of a definition), though this sounds a little slicker (not over the top by any means though, just as apposed to sounding like it was recorded on a boom box). I don’t know if I could put this up there with classic stuff like the Zero Boys, but it ain’t bad. (Self-released) [Razorcake]

RICH WHITE MALES/CUMMIES: International Losers: Split CD
Rich White Males: Snotty, obnoxious pop punk, reminding me of FYP and The Trashies at points. I’m a little concerned about songs like S.L.U.T. and how sincere/vs. ironic they are, but I’d be willing to give it another chance to get a better idea. Cummies: Despite the not so hot name, I was expecting them to sound like the Mummies. Instead, I thought it sounded like typical Bad Religion/late ‘90s Epitaph/Fat style punk. (PunkNJunk) [Razorcake]

ROBOCOP KRAUS: They Think They Are: CD
I’m often guilty of throwing on some weird record just to mess with my non-music nerd friends, but even I thought this one was out there. Most of the time I really weren’t sure if there were actual instruments being used, or just weird blips and beeps. This is the kind of indie-rock that they’ll typically show case on programs like our local “New York Noise”. (Epitaph) [Jersey Beat]

ROLLO TOMASI: Work Slow Crush Foes: CD
Fairly intricate, mid-tempo rock. This is the kind of record that you get a little more and pick up something new every time you listen to it. It’s a little slow for me at times, but some of my less discriminating friends (by which I mean, “friends that aren’t anywhere near as snobby as me”) would probably enjoy this. (Underground Communique) [Razorcake]

SASS DRAGONS: Bonkaroo!: CD
I don’t like getting caught up with labels. It seems like too many people get caught up in having “Well I’M only into [insert whatever little sub-scene/genre here]” attitudes. What’s great about this record is that the Sass Dragons are clearly not those kind of dudes. At it’s core, this plays like a crass pop punk record, in the sense that it’s catchy as hell, and switches the ever popular “why don’t girls like me” sentiment with “I WANNA TOUCH YOUR BOOBS GIRL” approach, which make me crack up while bobbing my head as I listen. But here’s the clincher; these guys are good musicians – like, REALLY good. They know what they’re capable of, and come up with some really creative stuff (like the blues number). Dare I say; I think if The Dwarves did that last album of theirs with the main collaborators being The Beatles (both remaining and non), the output would sound like this. And it sounds great. (Johann’s Face/Let’s Pretend) [Razorcake]

SASS DRAGONS/PARTY GARBAGE: Split: 7”
First: I don’t know if it’s just my copy, but the labels were switched on my copy of this. Sass Dragons: Sweet merciful crap. Take the spastic energy, as well as the “no two songs sound alike” aspects of FYP, combined with the chaotic “we will fuck you up” attitude of the Dwarves and the tightness of The Ergs!, and you’ve got The Sass Dragons. Even for just three songs, I had to listen to it a few times in a row, as it’s further proof of some of the awesome stuff that’s going on in DIY punk today. Party Garbage: Speedy, melancholy songs about, well, partying (so to speak). Not as good as the Sass Dragons side (but I mean, come on), and while I wasn’t that into the earlier stuff I’d heard, this is probably my favorite output of theirs, so here’s hoping they keep doing stuff like this. Both bands: Yeah, way to look crazy with a picture of yourselves all naked, when it’s completely blurred out and pixilated to the point where you can’t really tell what’s going on anyway. Nerds! (Lets Pretend) [Razorcake]

SAY WHEN: I’m With The Band: CD
Reminiscent of something I’d hear on the late night “alternative” program on the local rock radio stations, where everything they played sounded just like all the stuff they normally do. This isn’t bad, just not my thing. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

SCREAM HELLO: Smart & Stupid!: CDEP
I guess this is good sign as any that there’s still a degree of segregation between all these little different “scenester/sub-genre/whatever you want to call it”, because I think I see a fair amount of shows in New Brunswick NJ, where these dudes are from, and I’ve only heard their name come up on the internet. This particular EP looks like a teaser for an upcoming full length, with four songs that kind of sound like that “emo”/pop punk that you used to see come out on Jade Tree, in the sense that it’s really polished, and gets kind of arty, for lack of a better word – I kind of prefer NewEndOriginal. It’s not bad, but to have four songs last almost twenty minutes just seems way overkill in my opinion. (Red Leader) [Razorcake]

SCREAMING FEMALES: What If Someone Is Watching Their T.V.?: CD
Here’s indie rock’s answer to basement punk (I guess making this basement rock). Youthful sounding (hey, I look like I’m twelve, it’s not a dig), with a touch of New York City hipster to them despite being from New Jersey, but just enough that you get the idea they know what’s up. (Self Released)

SELF-EVIDENT: Self-titled: CD
I’m not entirely sure of what to make of this. It goes back and forth from almost mellow indie pop, to fairly rockin’. At first I wanted to say it was like some late ‘90s indie rock, though the singers voice sounds like the guy from Motion City Soundtrack. (DPG) [Razorcake]

SHECKIES, THE: Go On A Diet: CDEP
I’m usually a bit concerned any time I get something that looks like it’s going to be by-the-1-2-3-4 Ramones core pop punk, but this was ok. Think Ramones core that lay on the Weasel vocals pretty heavy. A bit geeky at points, but I was impressed by the Ultraman shirt (not the band, the series), so who am I to judge? (Cabana One) [Razorcake]

SHORT ATTENTION: Clever, Maddening, Annoying: 7” EP
To make it short: New York City pop punk super group plays thirty second (and shorter) songs. I’m not going to say “THESE SONGS ARE SO DEEP AND PERSONAL TO ME”, but it’s a fun listen, and I’m interested to see if they keep going on, or if this just ends up being a one 7” of forty-some songs deal. Also, “Numbers” is a great song. (Cold Feet) [Razorcake]

SHORTCUTS, THE: 30 Pack: CDEP

Pretty straight forward, all lady pop punk from Minneapolis. Does it make me sexist that I want to say they remind me of The Soviettes? I mean, the guitars sound a lot like them (with a little more noodling), the vocals sound a lot like them (if only Susy sang). Fuck it, I’m going to say they sound like a really early Soviettes, and refuse to believe that makes me a jerk. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

SHOWER WITH GOATS: Getting Lucky!/Reflection: CD

One “greatest hits” collection plus one new album from this newly reformed New Jersey pop punk band. Admittedly, I never really left the house until the late ‘90s, but I’d never heard of them, ever. There’s pretty comprehensive liner notes (including god in the thank you list, and pictures of the dudes wearing Deicide shirts), and overall the whole thing reminds me of Boogada-era Screeching Weasel. Best of luck to ‘em. (Trivia, the old lady in hipster sunglasses sitting next to me on the subway shook her head disapprovingly when she looked down and saw one of these). (SP/Poor Boy) [Razorcake]

SHYBOY/CRUMP, THE: Split: 7”
It’s been well established that everything from Japan is pretty awesome, right? So when I realized this was on Snuffy Smiles, I was pretty stoked for it, even though I’ve never heard of either of these bands. Shyboy: To me they sounded like if Social Distortion were good. Did I just say that? Yeah, I did. The Crump: They sounded like One Man Army, if they were better. Japan: Taking things from America and making them sound better, since for a long time now. (Snuffy Smiles) [Razorcake]

SICK SICK BIRDS: Chemical Trains: 7” EP
Members of The Thumbs playing post punk that’s arty, yet still rocking, somewhat in the vein of Hot Snakes. This EP’s a little mellower, but still a great listen. It doesn’t do them justice live though (again, not meant as a put down of the recording, so much as an endorsement of having seen them a few times now). As they say in their native Baltimore, “Recommended as a chicken”. (CTR) [Razorcake]

SIDEKICKS, THE: So Long, Soggy Dog: CDEP
It seems like the hype is slowly building up around these guys, which I can understand since this plays like a cross between Reinventing Axl Rose-era Against Me! And Latterman’s more pop punk moments This looks to be a self released copy, but it’s already been reissued by Red Scare on CD, and soon on LP by Team Science, so you can tell there’s a bit of truth behind the talk. (Self-released) [Razorcake]

SIDE PROJECT, THE: New Brain: 7”

Simple, goofy, and fun pop punk from these Midwesterners. It’s straightforward stuff, but I don’t consider it just one of the million cookie cutter bands. Also, I hate to be the guy that talks about what a band looks or dresses like, but there’s a song called “That’s What She Said” which I’m assuming is an Office reference, and one of the dudes in this band is a dead fucking ringer for Ethan Suplee from My Name Is Earl. Lets chalk it up to the fact these guys seem pretty funny. (Traffic Street) [Razorcake]

SIX TO EIGHT MATHMEMATICS: High Heels, Whisky & Mayhem: CDEP

Another band from New Jersey I’ve never heard of (kind of my neck of the woods, even), which means it’s another reminder that I sleep on my friends couches more often than I’m home. Anyway, this band reminds me of Fabulous Disaster from a couple years ago, but a little more rock than punk. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

SOMETHINGS WRONG/TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE: Split: 7”
Somethings Wrong: Think of a poppier Crimpshine, with dual vocals (one of which sounding again, like Crimpshine but not as deep, and another that I really just can’t explain). Trouble Trouble Trouble: Think a mellower Astrid Oto. Overall this is a cool little slab of wax, reminiscent of some of the earliest Lookout! releases. I think it’s good enough for me to include Asheville on my “places I want to see” list. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

SPERMBIRDS: Something to Prove/Nothing is Easy: CD
Another reissue of supposedly “most important European HC-Punk classics”, but I’d never even heard of it before. I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the more ridiculous lyrics (which you’d probably expect, considering the name). I liked the pig on the cover though. Über-collectors, that’s who THIS is most important for. (Boss Tuneage) [Jersey Beat]

STATIC RADIO: One For The Good Guys: 7” EP
Fast hardcore. How fast? So fast that I didn’t even realize that all five songs were on one side of this, until I turned the record over and noticed that a few minutes had gone by, and nothing happened. That’s how fast. (Chunksaah) [Razorcake]

STATIC RADIO: One For The Good Guys: CDEP
I still think this is super fast, Kid Dynamite-inspired hardcore (see issue #38). The CD version of this has two more b-side type songs than the 7”, yet it is still one sided. (Black Numbers) [Razorcake]

STEINWAYS, THE: Gorilla Marketing: CD
The Steinways are funny, for two reasons. The first is literally speaking, as every time I see them I’m usually cracking up by the end of their set. The other is when their first full length came out a while back, it had some really great pop punk songs on it, in between a bunch of songs that were basically three chords, one quick lyric, and done in about five seconds. Since then, it felt like a bunch of people gave them shit, saying “Yer songs are good! Keep writing songs longer then like, five seconds!” and so this time around the quick songs are gone (they’re all at least a minute now), and it feels much more consistent. Musically speaking, it’s not too different, as they remain a band who’s clearly heavily influenced by all the classic Lookout!, Mutant Pop, and so forth trademark pop punk, but without just being another (insert-another-band-here)-core rip off. It helps that there’s a very Off With Their Heads-esque “I’m broke/hate my life right now” theme to a bunch of the songs, as well as the fact that they don’t take anything TOO seriously (including taking what would normally be some bands throwaway/”jokey” song like “Sweatpants”, and making it a legitimately fucking great song). In hindsight, it’s getting to the point where reading this will take longer than listening to the a-side, so I’ll just end with this; The “I’ve got a five dollar bill and a coupon for two/lets go to Boston Market so I can show you how much I love you” line fucking KILLS me every time. Awesome. (Cold Feet) [Razorcake]

STOKOE: The Experiment Has Been A Complete and Utter Failure: CD
This was just weird - Interesting, but weird. It keeps going back and forth from rocking to mellow. I didn’t realize they were from across the pond until a song started off with “Sacre bleu!” After reading some info I got with this, apparently this is ex-Leatherface, but I wouldn’t have known otherwise. I can’t even find any contact info about this. (Rookie) [Jersey Beat]

STRANGULATED BEATOFFS: Jacking Off With Jacko b/w Beat It: 7”
Ah, borderline weird masturbation jokes: so many people insist on trying them, yet so few can pull them off. Then again, I’m not sure if this is a joke, or just what it is. Overall, there’s not much info, just some weird artwork, no real liner notes, and just two tracks that leave this reminding me of some weird noise band from a far corner of the Alternative Tentacles catalog (like Pachinko or Ultra Bidé). I’m not completely won over just yet, but I will admit to being intrigued. (Apop) [Razorcake]

STRAWN, CHRIS:I Left My Hat In Hades: CD
Mix tapes are a remarkable thing, often serving as collections of our absolute favorite songs strung together, like a child’s dream team of their favorite sport, only for music nerds. But that’s the main reason we love them; they’re collections of our (or, our friends/admirers/etc. etc.) songs that we’ve listened to over and over again. I bring this up because this solo record goes back and forth genre wise, from simple folk to some electronic jams, as if trying to recreate that feeling, as if it were an “original” mix tape, so to speak. The problem is the familiarity isn’t there, so while I think the songs are pretty good on their own, it’s a bit tough to listen to in one sitting. I could be wrong though, and realize that it’s just more of a “grower” record than I have time for before I send in the review. Here’s hoping. (Drazzig) [Razorcake]

SUNSHINE WILL, THE: The Escapist: CD
Dudes, what the hell. This is an EP, with six songs, and I could barely listen to any of them, because the CD was covered in smudges and finger prints before I even took it out of the case. If you don’t care enough about a record you put out, why should I care about listening to it? The little bit I could hear sucked anyway. Also, I’d like to add that this record came with a sheet saying “watching The Sunshine Will play is like the feeling you get when you finally convince your girlfriend to let you handcuff her during sex, only then after you handcuff her you go to the convenience store and buy some Hoho’s. The taste of the first of the first Hoho makes you feel the same way as one of their shows”. Seriously, screw this band. (Self-Released) [Jersey Beat]

SUPREME COMMANDER: 120 Years In The Business: 7” EP
This reminded me of some older NYC/CBGB’s hardcore matinee band for some reason, only not as meatheaded or chugga chugga sounding. Pretty good stuff, the weird swirl vinyl looks badass. (A389) [Razorcake]

TEAM STRAY: Gender Studies: CD
I’d heard this band mentioned amongst some friends of mine, and could’ve sworn what I heard was straight forward pop punk, heavy on the whooooa’s, so that’s what I figured this would be like. Instead, it’s a hair-faster than mid-tempo power pop, kind of in the vein of The Plus Ones or Weezer (especially in the vocals at times) that’s a bit rougher around the edges. It’s not bad, and I’d probably pull it out on a cloudy day. (Cold Feet) [Razorcake]

TERRIBLY EMPTY POCKETS: GET WET: LP
I’m not going to lie, I’m confused. Really, really confused. After listening to this at 33 RPM, I read that it’s supposed to be played at 45, and honestly, I’m not positive which one is right. Musically, this started out like R.E.M. trying to play ska, so I think I’m allowed to say this whole record is really weird, total music nerd core stuff (and I have friends who argue over Coltraine records). The best thing I can think of to say about this is that I imagine a perfect show for this band would be outside at some street fair, in some arty beach town. (Columbus Discount) [Razorcake]

THIEVES AND ASSASSINS: Martyr Brigade: CD
Melodic hardcore from Long Island that kinda reminds me of of Drive-Thru records bands from a while back (though while a little slick, this isn’t nearly as wussy). It’s ok, though I think these songs would be much better if they half the length. (Iron Pier) [Razorcake]

TIT PATROL: Gets Less Worse…: CDR

Fair or not, first impression upon seeing this is “Sweet lord, that’s a terrible name.” Then upon trying to listen to it, it’s already in bad enough shape that I can’t listen to it in my stereo, and start to grumble. Figure out a solution, and think “This is ok, short, fast paced pop punk, with fairly short songs.” My take: Keep ALL the songs under a minute, branch out musically a little, and REALLY embrace your goofy side, and this will totally rule. I stand by the name part though. (Madison Underground) [Razorcake]

TOO MANY DAVES: Split: 7”
Party punk (I’m pretty sure we can call this a sub-genre these days) super group, where the uniting factor is in the name. Now, as you might imagine, the general topics at hand here involve partying, so at the risk of sounding like a dick, I’m going to say that I wish the songs were fleshed out, just a little, especially lyrically speaking. I say that with the reasoning that I’m probably the least-partying/nerdiest dude you’ll find, and not only did I enjoy this, but upon listening to “Honkey Lips”, I wanted to personally thank Todd for sending it to me as it pretty much summed up my life at the moment (“Getting bored of the shit you do all day is better than getting yelled at for the shit you do all day”). (ADD) [Razorcake]

TOUGH: Fast/Faster: LP
I don’t have much info to go off of here, but it looks like at the core, this is a Ramones/Queers influenced pop punk band, with a bit more edge to it. I was a little curious why they put all the songs on one side of the record and then some crazy etching on the other side. Also I tried looking them up online, and they had the whole thing up for download, with a message like “Vinyl for the elitists, online for the masses”. Pretty good, and enjoyable if you like this sort of stuff. (El Topo) [Razorcake]

TRANSIT: This Will Not Define Us!: CD
I take that title as a challenge: It’s basically that “nu” brand of radio punk pop. To be fair, it kinda reminds me of an earlier wave of when this kind of stuff took off, like in the early ‘00s, but it’s still that kind of jam. Also, I’ll probably get called a prick over this review anyway, so I’ll make a comment (but serious one) on the press sheet; Playing something between three and five random/scattered dates every month in your general tri-state area does not equal a tour. (Barrett) [Razorcake]

TRANSITION: Get There: CD
The copy that I got of this doesn’t even have a cover, and what’s there is just all black and white, with a basic track listing. At first I figured that it was just one of those “promo” copies, but after I listened to it, it all makes sense. It’s SUPPOSED to be like that, because this record is just that boring. (Flood Gate) [Jersey Beat]

TRASHIES, THE: What Makes A Man Get Trashed?: CD
I first heard this band a while ago, and I’m pretty happy that they finally came around my parts, and I was able to pick this up, their newest full length. It’s a natural progression from Life Sucks, Trash Fuck, and is a bit weirder (in a good way), and has better production (just slightly). I do think a new comer to this band is better off starting with older material first, but that doesn’t make this any less recommended. (Mortville) [Razorcake]

TRASHIES, THE/HUNCHBACK: Split: 7”
The Trashies: I’m pretty stoked on this band as of recently. Part surf and part punk that’s sloppy as hell, but still knows exactly what it’s doing. The more you listen the more influences you can pick out, but it’s not derivative in the least bit. Hunchback: One of the best bands in New Jersey, that not many people outside of the garden state are aware of. Taking inspiration from the most obscure, weirdo noise, ‘80s hardcore, and Killed By Death records, and combining it all together into some of the most beautiful songs about ugliness I’ve ever heard. (Freedom School) [Razorcake]

TUFF LOVS: Party Dudes: CD
I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I still feel that just because a band CAN get fucked up, it doesn’t make it a good idea (for example; D4 = can do whatever the hell they want). When I got this CD I was a little wary at first (again, if the sixteen year old kids in my neighborhood can get drunk, is it really THAT big of a deal if you do?), but was put at ease within seconds, because this is great. Part Supersuckers (during some of the slower, groove heavy jams) and part Marked Men (actually, make that a skuzzier Marked Men), that, while may be all about partying, ultimately focuses on the rock. Very recommended. (New Art School) [Razorcake]

20 BELOWS, THE: Headaches And Moodswings: CD
Man, I thought I knew pop punk, but I guess I was wrong, because this came out of nowhere to me. Imagine if Cletus did another record, recorded it with Ryan Greene, invited Joe Queer and Jughead to play on some songs, and lost the “Hey, I’m drunk, again” songs. Here’s a reminder that Whoa Oh is one of the better pop punk labels going right now. (Whoa Oh) [Razorcake]

www.manofinfirmity.blogspot.com

Record Reviews K - O

2008-06-23T17:47:00.003-07:00

(Label) [Original Publication]

KARATE HIGH SCHOOL: Arcade Rock: CD
I’m willing to bet I got this, because I’m pretty nerdy, and have been a subscriber to Nintendo Power since Elementary School (and I’m not in ANY school anymore). However, here’s my problem with this: like other self-proclaimed “video-game rock” groups, there’s nothing to do with video games here, other than weird, often out of place keyboard sound effects, and ONE line I could pick up, going something like “If only I had a password to fix everything with you”. Other than that, this is screamo that I’d expect to see opening up the Nintendo Fusion tour. If you want REAL video game music, start with The Advantage. Otherwise, if you’re going to try to pull this shtick, be prepared to back it up. When someone writes a concept record about the story behind EarthBound, then we’ll talk. (Elevator) [Jersey Beat]

KITTY AND THE MANGES: Joey’s Song: 7”
As the name implies, it’s a 7” from The Manges from Italy, with Kitty Kowalski singing. Three pop punk songs, including one song each from the band and Kitty, plus a Cindi Lauper cover. If you’re into pop punk, there’s no reason you wouldn’t like this, especially considering the effort It’s Alive puts into its records (this record alone came on colored vinyl, and included a free poster). Awesome. (It’s Alive) [Razorcake]

KUNG FU MONKEYS, THE: Half-Baked: CDR

Here’s another entry in my ongoing series of “Why am I reviewing this?” reviews. Not because it’s bad, it’s actually a nifty little collection of demos and some rarities from a great pop/surf rock band, who all in all are fairly legendary in New York City. BUT, this is limited to twenty copies, most of which were sold at a recent benefit. I’m pretty sure there’s one or two copies left though! You owe it to yourself to check this band out anyway, and if you can somehow get one of these too, then even better. (http://www.myspace.com/kungfumonkeys) [Razorcake]

LA CACAHOUETTE: Cocaine Unicorn b/w Help Is Automatic: 7”
“IT’S NOT A UNICORN; IT’S A HORSE, WITH A SWORD IN ITS HEAD.” I make that reference on account that this is a decent bit of indie rock, that I could easily see being used on some prime time hit if they were just a tad more “mainstream” (read as “hipster”). (All Things Ordinary) [Razorcake]

LANDS ON FIRE: Self-titled: CD
My experience with this record: I make the twenty minute walk to the drug store, and listen to this. From the name/cover art, I’m guessing it’s going to be some form of metal. Track one starts, and there’s like a little flamenco intro, does this mean it’s going to quick turn into some sort of crazy black and/or death metal? The metal sounding part comes, but it’s kind of standard, nothing too crazy. As it goes on, it sounds like one of those “big/scenester” type bands that looks like a modern hair metal band, but more listenable. But there’s something else that’s weird; the subtle upstrokes, the occasional flamenco part, is there a joke here? Is this band secretly mocking all of these MTV17 hipster bands? I mean, the music isn’t terrible, and there’s some lines about over consumption, so it’s not just “Wah wah” tripe. Seriously, I hope there’s somewhat of a non-serious element to it, because I did laugh. (Fallen Angel) [Razorcake]

LANTERNS, THE: Postcard Picture: CDEP

Not quite pop punk nor power pop, but it IS definitely lady fronted. For some reason I want to say there’s a noticeable Cheap Trick influence to them. The only complaint I have is that it felt like some of the songs ran too long, when it seemed like they could’ve been broken into two songs, but other than that it’s not bad. (Cheapskate) [Razorcake]

LARSONS, THE: Fictitous Disorder: CDR

Straight forward, late ‘70s/early ‘80s style punk, with lyrics about zombies and horror movies and such. The most obvious influence are the Angry Samoans, as the last of these five songs is a cover of “Lights Out”. The fact that this was recorded on a four-track and fairly lo-fi only helps, though I feel it starts to lose energy towards the end, and I like it a little more when the songs are REALLY short, like roughly around the minute mark. Otherwise, this is pretty neat. (Hands of Fate) [Razorcake]

LEE MONSTER: No World Order: 2xCD-R
This looked like a hand made indie hip hop record at first, and while there’s some rapping, it feels like more of an art project, with all sorts of different stuff, a decent bit instrumental, some fairly political stuff too. Pretty cool, though two CD’s worth of stuff is a bit lengthy for me. (Self-released) [Razorcake]

LEFTY LOOSIE: 100 Miles An Hour!!: LP
Previously, Lefty Loosie bridged the gap between The Soviettes and Pinhead Gunpowder (I don’t know if there was much of a gap to begin with, but they still bridged it). Now, this LP lives up to its title; while the heartfelt lyrics are still there, the rock is amped up to full speed, kinda like if Bent Outta Shape chugged a bunch of Buzz Cola and admitted they owned records that WEREN’T by The Replacements. This record is as perfect for a warm summer night as it is for drinking beers after a breakup. (Repulsion) [Razorcake]

LEFTY LOOSIE/PEAR OF THE WEST: Split: 7”

Lefty Loosie: Picks up right where the full length left off, REALLY catchy poppy punk. Addie’s voice sounds a little smoother on this (I’d make some sort of switching beers joke to be clever, but what do I know about partying?), and I think Katherine sings on this too, and I like it when more people sing. Rad. Pear Of The West: I’m TORN on this, but not in a bad way. They sound just like a Japanese Unlovables, (catchy female vocals, and a lot of little noodle-y guitar parts) who happen to be one of my favorite local pop punk bands. Like, I love them, and they’re my buds. But, Pear Of The West is from

Japan

, so they’ve got THAT going for them. So good! Screw decisions, I’m saying it’s like apples and square watermelons (in hindsight, is that racist? I just REALLY love making Simpsons references). (Repulsion) [Razorcake]

LEMURIA/KIND OF LIKE SPITTING: Your Living Room’s All Over Me: CD
I can’t take credit for the best description I’ve ever heard of Lemuria; “They’re like if Discount and Jawbreaker had babies”. The only thing I’d like to add is if said babies played with The Weakerthans’ kids as well. It’s great, indie-punk, I’ve already listened to their side a good five times in a row. Kind Of Like Spitting strikes me as Futurama’s beloved Randy starting a weird art-rock band, though there’s a touch of The Thermals on one song which is cool. This is more than worth it for Lemuria alone. (Art Of The Underground) [Jersey Beat]

LIFETIME: Self-Titled: CD
Man, talk about some pressure; Reviewing the comeback record of the band who went from being totally hated amongst New Brunswick basements to playing at the Meadowlands Sports Complex. Can I personally say “Man, I saw them way back, you know, when they REALLY MEANT something”? No. Can I say “The new Lifetime record has some great, incredibly catchy songs that make you want to start singing along almost immediately, before you can even figure out the words”? Yes. When it comes down to it, this record is what it is, an overall pretty great collection (not FLAWLESS, but it’s still really good) that doesn’t waste any time. Personally speaking, I think the best thing to hope for is that kids that are into Fallout Boy will discover this record, check out Lifetime, get into Lifetime, and eventually figure out there’s cooler stuff out there than paying $30 to see Fallout Boy from a mile away. (Decaydance) [Jersey Beat]

LIVEFASTDIE: Bandana Thrash Record: CD
First thing’s first, this isn’t thrash, it’s just middle of the pack, trashy garage punk. By the middle of it, it sounds like nothing but Green Day’s novelty songs that are written and sung by Tré Cool (admit it, you know what I mean), with tons of distortion added to everything, for some sort of effect. It’s not awful, but if you want truly shocking/rocking garage punk from New York City, you’re way better off with The Shemps. (Dead Beat) [Jersey Beat]

LOBLAWS, THE/SCI FI NIGHTMARES, THE: Split: 7”

The Loblaws: One of the latest bands to have released something on Mutant Pop, which probably gives you a good idea of what to expect anyway. Never heard them before, but their side is more of a slower, poppier Queers vibe to it, which isn’t bad, it just didn’t hook me, and felt like it dragged a little. The Sci Fi Nightmares: Ironically(?) they sound like the older, more straight forward, harder edge pop punk, Ramones-influenced Queers. Again, dragged on, but not as much, and it DID have some much needed energy. (Killer) [Razorcake]

THE LOST ATOMS: Self Titled: CDR
Like most of us, shortly after I got into punk, I wanted to start the “ULTIMATE BEST PUNK BAND EVER” (Basically playing punk, ska, and hardcore, like, well, EVERYONE), and had that band actually ever successfully formed, it probably would have sounded like this. The Lost Atoms sound like a funny pop punk band who occasionally tries to come off as Against All Authority to be taken more seriously, as well as to keep ska alive. They wouldn’t be my first choice to listen to, but they’re not terrible, not to mention they actually got a band going which is much more than I can say. (Demolish Music) [Jersey Beat]

LOUIS TULLY: I Was A Dog Once: 7” EP
Retro-ish lo-fi garage punk, that’s as minimalist as it is arty. First thing I instantly liked about this: NES controller on the back of the artwork Second thing I instantly liked about this: First track title is a Ghostbusters reference (“Don’t Cross The Streams”). Wasn’t familiar with them before, but now I’m a fan, and will check out more from this band. (Repulsion) [Razorcake]

LOVEDRUG: Pretend You’re Alive: CD
Slow, mostly dreary indie rock, though there’s a song or two that are more upbeat, to the level of “Melancholy, modern style punk pop”. It sounds like the big inspiration are ladies (oddly enough the singer’s voice sounds oddly like the lady from The Dolly rots) and the relationships with them. Plus, I think this is a major label reissue of one an older record, which is pretty weak. It must be a rainy day in the OC. (Militia Group/Columbia) [Jersey Beat]

LOVED ONES, THE: Distracted: CDEP

I was pretty into this band around the time of their first EP, but stopped following them shortly after their first full length, for no reason in particular. I’d heard they’d taken on a really huge Bruce Springsteen influence since then (which seems like it’s a popular thing to do now), but it’s a lot more subtle than I was expecting, though maybe it’s just this EP. I’m actually a little curious what younger kids have to think; I know as a younger teenager, with my first exposure to punk rock I gravitated towards a lot of loud/fast/profane Epi-Fat bands, and is this the kind of thing that kid would like? I think they could still get into it. (Fat Wreck) [Razorcake]

LOVE SONGS: Hot Buns (The Sequel to the Theme of the Sequel to Top Gun): 7”
I wish more bands were like Love Songs. I’m at a point if I go out to see a band, I want to see a SHOW, and these guys deliver, full ‘80s heavy metal meets Hickey attack and all. The A-side claims to be the sequel to the theme of the sequel to Top Gun, and, well, it’s just that. Don’t be mad at me for not being able to expand on it more than that, be happy there’s a band that will actually sit down, think of, and execute an idea like that. The B-side is a more standard number, which I’m fairly sure isn’t sung by Craig Ums, but still great. Pick this up, as well as their underrated full lengths. (Thrillhouse) [Razorcake]

LUDICRA: Fex Urbis Lex Orbis: CD
Here’s my complaint with black metal: The whole “this is the most heaviest, darkest, extremist music ever” shtick is usually so over the top that most everything it produces ends up being pretty lame. Here’s what I like about Ludicra: They play incredibly brutal metal, but, well, it’s good. There’s a little too much of the too-growly vocals initially, but it gets better shortly after, and I didn’t even mind it after the third listen. This is great for those wanting to get into some underground metal, to those starting to get bored with the genre. (Alternative Tentacles) [Jersey Beat]

MAKEOUT PARTY!, THEE: Play Pretend: TAPE

My first experience with Thee Makeout Party! Was happening to see them live a few years ago, admittedly I was soured, but mainly because I’d gone out to see The Trashies, and had to leave before they played. Then I saw them again this past summer, and realized “Man, these guys are a pretty fuckin’ awesome power pop band”. I’m still not TOO familiar, but I’m pretty sure this is just a straight re-issue of their latest full length on cassette, with hand-color-penciled art, and individually numbered, which if you’re going to do a tape, is how you should do it. Nice. (Burger) [Razorcake]

MCCALL, TRIS: The Open Secret: CD

I don’t imagine most people reading this have any idea who Tris McCall is, but I’ve been a decent fan since the first time I happened to catch him live back a few years ago. As a Jersey City local and constant arts advocate, Tris has been writing songs about what he knows and loves (New Jersey, and its scenery, politics, culture, etc) and has been performing them in various incarnations, from striped down to larger backing bands. This CD in particular contains a live, solo piano performance in Jersey City, I believe in a church (though there’s no real liner notes, and I haven’t been able to keep tabs of his shows as of late). Think if Aaron Cometbus was more of an indie popster than house show punker, who stayed closer to home instead of traveling from town to town, and wrote songs similar to They Might Be Giants or The Mountain Goats. (Self-released) [Razorcake]

MEASURE [SA], THE: One Chapter In The Book: LP

It’s funny, I’ve gotten more and more into the Measure as time has gone on, but I’ve missed out on the bulk of their 7”s. Fortunately for me, now I have all of them, on one, theoretically larger 7” (hey, a 12” IS larger than a 7”). Now, most of the material here has been reviewed here before, so I’m going to blatantly cheat and say to read those/better reviews to get an idea of the sound (though I don’t think I’d called them a pop punk band). But, since design has been a prominent element with this band, I will say that this whole thing looks GORGEOUS, from the cover, to the swirled vinyl, to the bonus silk screened 7” (which rules if you can get it!), to the point where it makes this worth owning even if you DO own all these songs already. (Kiss of Death) [Razorcake]

MEASURE [SA], THE: Songs About People…And Fruit N’ Shit: EP

I’m not used to having trouble coming up with something to say about records I like, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. The Measure have been releasing a slew of folky yet roughly edged material for a while, and there are no deep departures from that here. But, this is my favorite record of theirs to date, by far, yet I can’t really think of how to really explain it. The fact that it’s seems a touch catchier? Maybe more records should be made the morning after seeing The Bananas? We will never know. Aside from I enjoy this. (Don Giovanni) [Razorcake]

MEAT DEPRESSED: Fat, Drunk & Stoopid: CD
Wow, I didn’t realize the dudes that always hang out in the bar in town all night after work had a Queers-core band. (Good Cop Bad Cop) [Jersey Beat]

MENZINGERS: Hold On Dodge: 7”

Here’s how this threw me: At first I SWORE I’d seen this band play a few songs live once, thinking it was some alright, technical “scenester” by way of mid-era Propaghandi stuff that I wasn’t that into. So I put on the record, and it’s NOTHING like that. First impression was “Oh, this has a bit of twang to it, not unlike The Sidekicks”, and then as it goes on, I think, bear with me, “This is like a more punk-Weakerthans”. And I did enjoy it! (Red Scare) [Razorcake]

MODERN MACHINES, THE: Atama Ga Onara: TAPE
Oh man, I almost feel bad for reviewing this; it’s a homemade compilation of various 7”/split/comp tracks, not to mention the last songs that Hanson played on. Oh yeah, and the songs are fucking amazing. This is even still pretty cool to have, even if you already have all the other records these songs are on. (Dingus) [Razorcake]

MODERN MACHINES, THE: Take It, Somebody!: CD
I saw this coming from a mile away anyway, but this record is great. Whenever people talk about The Modern Machines, the Hüsker Dü and Replacements are inevitable, but “Take It, Somebody!” finds the band really coming into their own poppy, classic/rock’n’roll inspired punk. I want to go a little crazy, and say to imagine a punked out Beatles (or perhaps The Jam, depending how you want to look at it), putting out a solid record with the occasional foray into Johnny Cash territory, as well as excessive rocking. Heck, there’s tons of interesting stuff here, even without any of that. As of right now, this is my record of the year. I’d say “recommended” if it wasn’t essential. (side note, the CD version is on Dirtnap, while the LP is on Recess records) (Dirtnap) [Jersey Beat]

MONIKERS/BANNER PILOT: Split: 7”
Monkikers: Kinda Jawbreaker-y and Lawrence Arms-ish mid tempo, obscuro pop punk. Oh, and on repeated listens, I thought the vocals sounded somewhat like The Connie Dungs, just less like a black metal dude trying to do pop punk. I liked it. Banner Pilot: They sound a little poppier here than on the EP, and ultimately more like their own band. And that’s a good thing. It’s like Fred Sanford – Straight up! (Kiss Of Death) [Razorcake]

MY BITTER END: The Renovation: CD
Ok, I won’t lie: My first reaction upon seeing this was a Tom Scharpling/”Best Show” type “Mmhooooo-booooyyyyyy…”, figuring this was going to be some mall emo that was trying to pass themselves off as “big toughies”. But, then I put it on, and suddenly I’m thinking “WOAH! There’s double bass pedals! And crazy finger tapping! This is nuts!” Now, there were a few moments on this record that’ll make me have to consider this “metal-core” instead of just straight up metal, but aside from dragging on a little bit by the end, it’s a pretty solid record. I’m totally playing this to 1) Fuck with people, and 2) Get myself psyched up, by listening to it in the back of my car and punching the front seat, all Dwight from “The Office” style. (Uprising) [Jersey Beat]

NERVE SCHEME, THE: Self-Titled: CDEP

A few songs of Bad Religion/early to mid ‘90s style Epitaph punk rock, like I’d expect to hear on one of the old Punk-O-Rama comps. It’s ok. (Jailhouse) [Razorcake]

NEW MEXICAN DISASTER SQUAD: Don’t Believe: CD
These guys have been around for a while but I haven’t actually heard before until this. Luckily, this is just what I’m looking for right now: modern punk/hardcore that’s fast, angry, a touch of melody, and everything so loud that even the vocals are distorted. If you’re a fan of bands like Strike Anywhere and Paint It Black, you’re going to like this too. It’s the same sound, and this band’s on the same level too. This isn’t anything new, but still really good. (Jade Tree) [Razorcake]

NEUROTIC SWINGERS: Sexy & Mysterious: CD
Pretty cool garage rock from France, but I’m not sure (I had bad luck in French class after getting caught climbing out the window). This seems like this would be a good intro for someone getting into this sort of thing, it’s catchy but not way out there like some other bands of the genre. The production was a little slick than usual for this kind of record, but no more than something you’d get from Fat or Epitaph. Fans of The Briefs should check this out. (Lollipop) [Jersey Beat]

NIGHT BIRDS: Demo: CDR

The latest in the recent wave of “well, our old bands broke up, time to start fresh” bands from the New Jersey area. Four songs of ‘80s west coast/California influenced hardcore punk, that sounds a LOT like the Dead Kennedys (especially with the surf-y guitars/solid musicianship all around), and touches of bands like the Adolescents, D.I. and TSOL. Pretty awesome, considering I think they’ve been around for about two days. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

NOJONS, THE: Unnatural Selections: TAPE

Apparently this tape is limited to something like ten copies, which is a shame, because this tape rules. However, I’m pretty sure it’s a collection of old records, so either way, you should track it down. Poppy punk that I don’t know I’d label straight up pop punk (though there’s a few songs like “My Philly Girl”), that reminds me of the Dead Milkmen and Scared of Chaka at times. They also manage to accomplish the feat of having a ton of songs, that don’t sound exactly alike, yet are still similar enough that it doesn’t make me bored after a while. I recommend the heck out of this band. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

NONE MORE BLACK: This Is Satire: CD
Kid Dynamite broke up. Deal with it. Jason Shevchuk wants to do something different, so they’re doing something different, not “Even Shorter, Even Faster, Even Louder”. This isn’t weirdly experimental, but it’s still fairly “all over the map” musically speaking. It’s not perfect, but I say that because they’re trying a lot of new stuff (this one is noticeably different from the first), and they’ll only improve on it from here. What I’M upset about is that I can’t figure out which song titles are Seinfeld references. (Fat Wreck) [Jersey Beat]

ONLY CRIME: Virulence: CD
Here’s another recent punk rock super group, which features members of Good Riddance (who I was kinda into in high school), Bane (who I wasn’t really into much in high school), and Descendents (who I was way into in high school). As you can imagine, this sounds like a culmination of all the members previous bands mixed together, and I’ll say that it’s best moments are like if later era Black Flag got into a fight with later era ALL songs, and completely beat the shit out of them (but did so in the best possible way), leaving you with something that keeps a great balance between catchy frantic pop punk, that are still a bit pissed off and unsettling, yet keep a decent groove, and frankly are just a bit fucked up (again; in the best possible way). I’m glad this got sent my way. (Fat Wreck) [Razorcake]

www.manofinfirmity.blogspot.com

Record Reviews F - J

2008-06-23T17:47:00.001-07:00

(Label) [Original Publication]

FAKE PROBLEMS: Spurs and Spokes/Bull>Matador: CD
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that this is four new songs, and four old rerecorded ones. I saw this band for the first time over the summer and bought a CD, but was a little bummed upon listening, because I really didn’t think it sounded like them live; this changes that. Fairly Against Me!ish alt-country, with some strong indie rock overtones to it too. It gets a bit arty at times, but all in all this band seems to be improving with every release. (Sabot) [Razorcake]

FILTHY 42’S, THE: Positively South Jersey: CD
I notice I tend to get a lot of stuff from New Jersey lately, presumably because everyone assumes I already know about it. This pretty much comes across as just another band trying to hit it big. I mean, the tunes aren’t bad, but anything heartfelt here has been polished away. I mean, it came with a press sheet that included “target markets”. People aren’t assuming I’m into that kind of stuff, right? (Boot To Head) [Razorcake]

FLESHIES: Scrape the Walls: CD
Woah. Now I’ve been into Fleshies (no “The”) for a while now, and their brand of what I’ll call warehouse punk (think bands that spend most of their time playing more unusual “venues” like abandoned warehouses, and thus come up with some really cool stuff from the total lack of trying to appeal to a typical club audience). Up until now, it had seemed like their output was getting more frantic, so I was expecting this to be some of their most rocking stuff ever. Then I put this on, and it took me a listen, but I realized that it’s some of their WEIRDEST stuff ever, and it’s great, it’s almost what I was expecting from the new Toys That Kill record (which ended up being some of THEIR most rocking stuff). I’m still trying to figure out if there’s some weird concept stuff going on here or not, but either way, this is easily in my top ten of the year, if not top five. (Alternative Tentacles) [Jersey Beat]

FORTY MARSHAS: Self-titled: CD
Appears to be some big rock dude collaboration project, with a bunch of people (ranging from member of Death By Stereo to the Goo Goo Dolls), and a bunch of sounds (ranging from really long drawn out ambient noise, to metal). It’s not bad and has its moments, it’s just kinda weird for me to be able to sit down and enjoy it in one sitting. (Beatville) [Razorcake]

FOUR DEADLY QUESTIONS/ANSWER LIES, THE: Split: CD
Four Deadly Questions: already amongst the handful of my favorite New York City punk bands (well, I mean, there ARE a lot of punk bands there). I almost want to say they sound like if Toys That Kill were both angrier and weirder. The Answer Lies: I’d been meaning to check them out as it is, so I was happy when I realized they were the other half of this split. I was also happy to hear the thrashy, straight up punk rock that is their half. I pronounce this split a “W”, for winner. (GC) [Razorcake]

FOUR EYES, THE: Secret Center Sessions Volume 3: 2x CDR

Here’s a reissued collection of various previous “Secret Center” sessions, where this long running Sacramento nerd-core band takes a break from writing songs about D&D and trying to woo Ms. Pac Man, and screws around with various covers. For the unfamiliar, they’re kind of like if the Bananas (especially since these are fairly lo-fi recordings, with a lot of biting trebly guitar sound that only helps it sound great) were a little more Chuck Berry style rock’n’roll, dare I say even a little soul-ful at times (however, there’s a whole bunch of different songs in here, and they manage to pretty much tap in and nail it every time, even when they’re goofing on them – or ARE they?). I’ll say this much, I was in such a bad mood that I was literally punching the ground in frustration that my hand hurt, and then put this on, and started cracking up out of enjoyment, thinking “This RULES.” Also, I feel compelled to point out that I’m pretty sure this was a thank you gift for explaining Pokémon to one of these guys via a message board. WHO’S the nerd NOW? Oh, right… (Self Released) [Razorcake]

FOUR STAR ALARM: Tilted b/w Cities In Dust: 7”
I couldn’t figure out what was familiar about this at first, was it Dag Nasty? Then after listening to it a bunch of times, I looked at the little info sheet, and realized the a-side was a Sugar cover (that song’s going on a Sugar tribute, the other’s just an extra b-side). So that’s what I decided, this band sounds like Sugar and Dag Nasty. With a slight indie rock side to them. Yes. (Underground Communiqué) [Razorcake]

FRESHKILLS: Creeps And Lovers: CD
This sounds like something they’d play on WXR-KweusedtoplayROCK. It’s not that it’s really BAD per se, I just found it somewhat boring. (Arc Light) [Jersey Beat]

FULL OF FANCY: Sweet Baby Jesus: CD
It’s fitting that the cover art is full of gummy bears; at the core, this is super sugary, ultra fun, catchy pop. But then, there’s a strange, distinctive aftertaste, that leaves you unsure of what it is, just that it’s GOOD. In this case, it stems from a distinct mid-‘90s alternative rock influence, that becomes a little more noticeable with every listen. Think a stripped down version of The Soviettes putting out a record on Sub Pop in their heyday. Think jelly beans dipped in fudge. Think one of the best first full lengths of the year. Think highly recommended. (Whoa Oh) [Razorcake]

FULL OF FANCY/SCREAMING FEMALES: Split: 7”

Full Of Fancy: One of my current favorites. Often poppy, sometimes a tad angry, always rockin’. Here’s two more songs, a short, but smart, and funny little number about sports, and a (slightly) longer, grittier, more personal one as well. Everything I love about this band wrapped up in a nice little package. Screaming Females: One of the latest/most hyped bands in New Brunswick, who admittedly I haven’t listened to as much (I have my own favorites, and I’m a picky curmudgeon). I’ve heard the compliment “the new Hendrix” tossed around, because they’re great musicians, but that often leaves me thinking “Ok, you can play. So now what?” but these songs are probably the most straight forward (read “focused”) stuff of theirs I’ve ever heard, thus making it my favorite so far. (Let’s Pretend) [Razorcake]

FUNERAL CRASHERS, THE: La Fin Absolue Du Monde: CD
I’m going to be the first to admit, I’m not a goth music expert. Not that I don’t like my share of dark and depressing stuff, but usually my first choice is going to be something more along the lines of The Sass Dragons. However, I still like this. It’s dark, eerie, but it’s different from song to song, not just the same old shit over and over again, kinda like Suicide at one minute, and Interpol the next. I thought this was pretty cool. (Self-released) [Razorcake]

GATEWAY DISTRICT, THE: Some Days You Get The Thunder: CD

Debut full length from a Minneapolis super group that’s self described as “fancy the way McDonald’s ketchup is fancy”, featuring members of Rivethead and The Soviettes. The record sounds incredibly like the later, with Maren/Sturgeon providing about half of the vocals, but the other singer sounds just like Kim Shattuck, with just a little bit of country swagger, that also translates into the rest of the songs. Think of it as like LP III ½, if you will. I absolutely love the hell out of this. (It’s Alive) [Razorcake]

GET RAD: Bastards United: 7” EP
Remind me – is this the band that’s STONERS doing STRAIGHT EDGE hardcore, or vice versa? Or a little of both? Either way, this sounds like if Minor Threat was on something, what I’m not entirely sure, but whatever it is it’s the right stuff, because this is some pretty great thrash that’s fun to listen to. (Level Plane) [Razorcake]

GROUCHO MARXISTS, THE: Manifesto!: LP

Chris Pierce’s new band (technically not “new”, but it took a while for the record to come out), who’s a New Jersey legend who’s been in Doc Hopper and Sinkhole, not to mention recorded a bulk of music to come from the New Brunswick/New York City within the past few years. Most of his previous endeavors were heavy on the Descendents/ALL/Cruz records influence, and this is no different – it’s poppy but with a hard edge, yet with a fun, goofy sense of humor to it. It’s good to Chris is still coming up with good stuff like this. (Don Giovanni) [Razorcake]

GOD DAMN DOO WOP BAND, THE: Broken Hearts: CD
So here’s the deal: this is a bunch of punks, who decided to start a doo wop band. Not some cutesy little “punk” doo wop band, like a real, legit, doo wop band. And it’s freaking awesome. Heck knows I have enough trouble describing punk rock, so this is even tougher on me, but I do know the dudes can play, and the ladies can sing. I mean, EVERYONE starts punk bands now, but who starts doo wop bands? I love this. (Afternoon) [Razorcake]

GUITAR BOMB: Back Alley Jesus: CD
I’m not much of a one man band aficionado by any means, but that’s what this is, and I liked it. Going with that, I’m not sure how else to really describe it other than a bunch of rad country/bluesy jams, so I’ll add that it this is on Crafty, who get an A+ in the “being stand up dudes” department, for putting out some cool local records, as well as setting up shows, which makes this worth checking out on that merit alone. It’s like the fact that it’s a good record anyway is an added bonus. (Crafty) [Razorcake]

GUITAR BOMB: Happy Hour At The Silverado: CD

Fairly minimalist bluesy bar rock. I liked some of the older stuff, but at this point, the sleaze shtick kind of wore thin on me. Case in point: The Minor Threat “cover”, of “Straight Edge” that tries to pull the switcharoo, even though he’s actually playing is “Out Of Step”. GET OUT OF MY DISC MAN. (Crafty/Rockparka) [Razorcake]

HAPPY ACCIDENT: Vanity Press: CD
This is a cutesy little indie-pop record. This strikes me as a nice band to see at Maxwell’s on a nice summer evening. Yup. (10 Gev) [Jersey Beat]

HERESY: 1985-‘87: CD
Early UK thrash/hardcore, you could possibly call some of it proto-power violence at time. This is geared more to fans of Havoc style punk, but with some unreleased demos and liner notes containing a fairly comprehensive history of the band, if you’re the type of person that’s into stuff like this, you’ll enjoy this. [Jersey Beat]

HIBACHI STRANGLERS, THE: Our City Doesn’t Stink All The Time: 7”
Yeah yeah, give the record titled “Our City Doesn’t Stink All The Time” to the guy from New Jersey, don’t think I don’t see the joke here. Anyway, loud, fuzzed out psyche/garage rock, I want to say reminds me a little of The Carbonas (or at least makes them come to mind for some reason), but not nearly as straight forward, and a lot noisier most of the time . I like this, good stuff. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

HIGH COURT, THE: Puppet: CD
It’s amazing what you can do in recording studios these days: apparently now there are knobs you can turn to make you sound like My Chemical Romance and Fallout Boy (turned up to about seven, and ten respectively here). (I Surrender) [Razorcake]

HINDI GUNS, THE: (Many Many) Miles Away b/w Loaded Gun: CD

I’m a little confuse by these guys; I’ve reviewed ‘em a handful of times by now, and it’s pretty much always the same, kind of weird rock, usually two or four songs at a time (and one “Rarities” collection). The discs are always made out to look exactly like vinyl. There really isn’t any updated information on them, and can’t seem to tell if they play out live much or not. I just feel like there’s some sort of “agenda” here, but I don’t know what. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, HINDI GUNS??. (French Fan Club) [Razorcake]

HINDI GUNS, THE: Patriot Act: CDEP
This was kind of weird and experimental, but nothing super crazy. It starts out somewhat pseudo jazzy, with the vocals consisting entirely of samples of Henry Rollins and Lemmy, talking about the state of society and modern music. The rest is similar, but with female vocals. There’s a lot of writing on the back of this, like “promotional fan club” this, and “found lyrics/recorded live” that, so I was a little confused as to just what this record is or what it’s for, but I still liked it. Overall this is the kind of strange but interesting stuff that I’d expect Hunchback to cover. (French Fan Club) [Razorcake]

HINDI GUNS: Rarities: CD

I feel that Rarities is a somewhat ironic title for this collection, because that pretty much sums up everything about this band. Since most people probably haven’t heard of this band, they play fairly arty jazz meets ‘60s counter culture rock. Interesting stuff. (Stingin Pig) [Razorcake]

HINDI GUNS, THE:Self-titled: CDEP
I was going to make a joke like “Maryam b/w Count To Ten: CD” in the title, but didn’t, and then I opened this up and saw that it’s one of those CD that looks like vinyl deals, so I regret that decision (I’m not going to lie and say I thought of it before seeing it, I have integrity like that, or something). It’s fitting, since the songs on here are somewhat jazzy, mildly psychedelic, and fairly light in comparison to what I think the subject matter is (I could be wrong though). It’s good stuff, but I wish there was more than two songs. (French Fan Club) [Razorcake]

HOLDING ON TO SOUND: Songs Of Freedom: CD

At first these guys struck me as being fairly Propaghandi-influenced, since this came off as kind of prog-y and political, but there’s touches of bands like Bridge and Tunnel, or The Exit. It’s pretty cool, though it runs kind of long at times, with songs coming in at over five minutes (which is cool if you’re like, Coltrane, but I get restless when it comes to punk). But, there IS a song called “Kurt Russell”, which is pretty rad. (GC) [Razorcake]

HOLLYWOOD BLONDES, THE: Fifteen Minutes Of Lame: CDEP
Pretty straight forward Ramones-core pop punk. I can’t say this is the most original stuff I’ve heard, but it’s not bad, and they win points for the song “Tina Is A Headcase”. The only other point I’d mention is that for stuff like this, I’d rather hear more than six songs over the course of fifteen minutes. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

HUMAN ADULT BAND, THE: Wantnaut/Wastenaut: CDR
Super DIY noisy/post punk from New Brunswick, we’re talking homemade sleeve, and spray paint over traditional CD labels. A combination of session and live tracks, it’s better when it’s noisier and avant-garde, as opposed to when there’s a minimalist approach. They strike me as a band you’d see play in some abandoned warehouse or art space. (dihd) [Jersey Beat]

HUMAN TELEVISION: Look At Who You’re Talking To: CD
I’d heard this band live on the Cherry Blossom Clinic a while ago, so I was happy to check this out. Fairly mellow, relaxed indie-rock, not what I’d normally expect from Gainesville, but it’s not like it’s on No Idea! or anything. Some of the vocals struck me as Pixies-ish at times. This is nice, and it seems fitting that I’ll probably put it on more come Spring/Summer time. (Gigantic Music) [Jersey Beat]

HUNCHBACK: Inside/Out b/w Song For Dave Berg: 7”
Some lighter output from a (normally) much noisier band. Two songs, one of which is from their upcoming LP, the other is exclusive. Topics covered include Courtney Love, and buds, and there’s a very jangly, mid/late ‘90s alternative rock vibe to it (as opposed to most of their ‘80s underground/Killed By Death output). This record costs a dollar. Pick it up. (Don Giovanni) [Razorcake]

HUNCHBACK: All the 7”s + Comp Stuff: CDR

Dear Hunchback: You are one of my favorite bands. I love that you play music about weird horror movies and finding the inner beauty of things, while sounding like a band that was too punk for any Killed By Death compilation to handle. I bought this one night in Chicago, after you played what was an “interesting” set, where you said “We don’t know what we’re going to keep doing as a band”. Even though I even have most of these songs elsewhere, its another reminder of how much I love you, be it the retelling of a classic Twilight Zone episode like “Number 12 Looks Just Like You”, or the fact that you manage to literally sound like you recorded back in the ‘80s hardcore days, or just because you really do love the hell out of Neil Young. That is why I ask of you, please, don’t break up. Taking a vacation is fair enough, because you have earned it, but ending it for good will surely break my heart, and I will literally cry. I hope you take this into consideration. Thank you (PS, you still owe me that tape). Sincerely, (Self Released) [Razorcake]

HUNCHBACK: Pray For Scars: LP
A friend of mine once said “I don’t like Hunchback – it’s just noise”. Sure enough, that’s exactly why I like Hunchback (in theory). There’s days where I want to listen to something really poppy, or jazz, and sometimes I’m just in the mood for weird, crazy noise. Then again, I can understand Hunchback isn’t for everyone. I like that. It’s easy to give them a listen and assume that they’re just another weird noise band, but I feel like as chaotic as this record can be at times, everything was planned out to a T (I mean, shit, they tracked down Michael Gerald to sing on this, so they’ve obviously got a clear vision on just what they want to do). I’m sure this one will make even the biggest weirdo/art punks scratch their head, from the lengthy/black metal-ish (in an atmospheric way, in my opinion) opener, to when the record actually LIGHTENS UP a bit – KIND OF. Mark my words, Hunchback is a band with a plan, and this record is keeping them on the right track. (Don Giovanni) [Razorcake]

HUNCHBACK: Ugly on the Outside: CD
I tend to be late with things as it is, so I’m glad I have a copy of this already. The Hunchback is one of the best bands in New Jersey right now. They’ve pretty much consistently blown me away every time I’ve seen them live, and they only seem to be getting better. Imagine a combination of every weird/super obscure band out there, exploding with an often surf-y, noisy (Though occasionally calm and reserved, at just the right moments) songs about everything sad about the world. I can’t even sing along because I’m busy getting chills. Talk about a band that gets it. This is essential. – (Freedom School) [Jersey Beat]

IFIHADAHIFI/MODERN MACHINES: Hot Nuggets: CD
One of the great things about punk rock is that I could say “Well, I mostly listen to punk bands”, yet still be into all sorts of different stuff when it comes down to it. This split is a perfect example. I’d never heard IfIHadAHiFi before, but they’re very techno/electronic, striking me as somewhat Big Black-ish, and my main impression was that it’d be fun to see them live. I already knew how great Modern Machines are, who play some great punk inspired rock and roll. Now, most of the songs on here are covers, so it’s more of a way to delve into both bands influences and what they’re into, as opposed to what their next records will sound like. But it’s still great. Also, for collectors, the vinyl is a great looking picture disc. – (Crustacean) [Jersey Beat]

IMPULSE INTERNATIONAL, THE: Hollywood Underground: 7”

I don’t know what the schedule was, and if they recorded a ton of songs and went the multiple 7”s instead of a full length route, but they seem to be coming out with new records all the time for three dudes that don’t live in the same state, which isn’t a bad thing. This is more of what they’ve put out so far, edgy power pop, with a touch of some late ‘70s bands like The Jam, Undertones, maybe even a little Vibrators. (Killer) [Razorcake]

IMPULSE INTERNATIONAL, THE: The Real Kid b/w The World Hates Me: 7”

A new 45 from this now postal-service-land-band (I’m taking credit for that). The first A side is more upbeat garage rock’n’roll that will likely get you boogieing down to some extent. The other “A” side (which threw me for a quick loop and cracked me up) sounds more like a mid-tempo Buzzcocks song, or, I’m really tempted to say, a less melancholy Arrivals song. Do I even mean that? I just think this is the best thing I’ve heard of theirs so far. (Derranged) [Razorcake]

IMPULSE, THE/BOY/GIRL: Split: 7”
The Impulse: A familiar name. Featuring members of Dirt Bike Annie, The Impulse fall in-between pop punk and power pop, very reminiscent of the Hi-Fives; catchy, upbeat rock’n’roll with the highest priority being on having fun. There’s also a companion DVD included too. Boy/Girl: An unfamiliar name. Mid-tempo, fairly arty, slightly noisy indie rock. I want to say that if it were the mid to late ‘90s, and Sub Pop was based in Hoboken or Jersey City, this band would be on that label.(Self-Released) [Razorcake]

INTERNATIONAL DATELINES, THE: Self-Titled: CDEP-R

These gals and guys play ‘50s inspired, girl fronted, poppy/slightly garage-y/slightly soul-ful rock’n’roll. Super catchy, great songs, and really fun to boot. There’s a few “normally” recorded songs, and a few from a live radio broadcast. I recommend looking into this. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

JOE JITSU: The Perfect Life: CD
Road To Ruin style mid/slow tempo pop punk. Most of the songs have a Dear You sounding guitar tone, and a few are more jangly, but I preferred the former over the later. It’s a little repetitive at times so while I don’t imagine myself listening to it constantly, it’s good for the kind of day that’s mostly cloudy and gloomy, with that little bit of sun shinning through. (Top Five) [Razorcake]

JOHNNY BODACIOUS & THE BAD ATTITUDES: From Here To Outer Space: CD
I really had no idea what to expect upon seeing this for the first time, but upon listening it kind of made me think of what it would sound like if Delay were more into metal than Green Day, in that it’s fairly youthful and energetic sounding, with a touch more technical(-ish) parts in the songs (I actually would’ve said “later-era Propaghandi” instead of metal, but the songs don’t strike me as being political, at least not to any “The public transit sytems are a racist bullshit institution” levels [yeah, that’s about as best I can do there]). It plays a little weird since it’s apparently a collection of some old stuff and new stuff, but it’s not bad, and I’d be interested in hearing more down the line. (Cassette Deck) [Razorcake]

www.manofinfirmity.blogspot.com

Record Reviews A - E

2008-06-23T17:45:00.000-07:00

(Label) [Original Publication]

ABOVE THEM/THE AMISTAD: Split: 7”

Both bands: They give me the impression that they’re from Florida, specifically somewhere between the Tampa/Gainesville area. Above Them: Reminiscent of Gunmoll, just not quite as good (and that’s not even a knock, because let’s face it, Gunmoll were pretty great), a touch more political, lyrically. The Amistad: I hate that I constantly pull the “Sounds like ___, but not REALLY”, but I feel like that here again, filling in the blank with what little I know of The Gaslight Anthem, only a bit lighter. (Disillusioned) [Razorcake]

AGGRAVATION, THE: Runaway: 7” EP
This French band plays garage-y, angular punk rock that’s high in the energy levels. It was a decent while ago at this point, but I think this is what I was expecting to hear the first time I listened to Wire back in high school. (Jojo) [Razorcake]

ALBERT SQUARE, THE/HARD GIRLS: Split: CD

The Alpert Square: When the drums kicked in at first, it reminded me of a band of high school kids trying to sound like Fugazi (which I’m not knocking – I mean it in the sense that it had that youthful energy to it, just without the “How are they even playing that?” thoughts I usually have when listening to Fugazi). Then the vocals came in, and I realized, “Oh, this is CLEARLY Dan Andriano from Alkaline Trio singing”. I mean, “SUPPOSEDLY it’s not”, but I’m convinced they’re lying. I mean, I thought the dude was going to start singing about his sore back. So basically, Albert Square: Young Fugazi, fronted by Dan Andriano. Hard Girls: They reminded me of Hot Water Music a lot, but without vocals of anyone who’s sang for Alkaline Trio at any point. (Silver Sprocket) [Razorcake]

ALTERNATIVE ACTION/MARCHING ORDERS: Split: 7”
Alternative Action: Pretty straight forward street punk. However, it gets a little poppy by the second song, and that’s all fine and good with me. Marching Orders: First impression, the vocals are very reminiscent of the Subhumans U.K., and musically it’s not far behind. Second impression is that even disregarding that, these guys sound way British. Overall: I wish I’d gotten the picture disc version of this, but oh well. I imagine I’d enjoy seeing either band live; barring it doesn’t get me a kick to the side of the head. (Iron Pier) [Razorcake]

ARRIVALS, THE: Marvels of Industry: CD
I’ll be honest; I’d hear friends of mine talk about how much they love The Arrivals, but then I’d watch them at The Fest, and I just couldn’t get into it. Down the line, I even heard a few more random songs, thought they were pretty good. So I decide to really sit down with this record, and I get it now. These are melancholy anthems, not poppy songs about milkshakes – a record to help you take solace after overcoming daily struggles (making me realize why seeing them for the first time at a show like The Fest may leave you a little bummed). Plus, it kind of made me feel like a pirate.– (Recess) [Razorcake]

ASSHOLE PARADE: Embers:CD
These angry Florida hardcore pioneers are back, and I'm stoked. Aside from the intro first track that I didn't really think was necessary, this is probably some of their greatest stuff ever. In fact, while I always thought of them as just a quick/powerviolence-y blasts kind of band, there's some tracks on here that I almost want to say take some black metal tones (like the uber growls), but make them TOTALLY ROCKING, which makes this such a great new record; it’s not just a weak rehash of their old discography, but a great blend of having moved forward, with just enough familiarity to remind fans why they like them in the first place. Awesome. (No Idea!) [Jersey Beat]

BAD BACKS, THE: Tombstone Town: 7” EP
This seems to take from a lot of different influences; it’s not quite hardcore, and there are some pop punk/Jawbreaker aspects to it that are slight, but definitely there (especially in the song “Should Have Spoken Up”). The title track is also about being against pollution and cutting down trees, which scores points in my book. (Dirty River) [Razorcake]

BANNER PILOT: Pass The Poison: CD
So this band sounds a lot like Rivethead, which is natural considering this band contains ex-members of Rivethead. But Rivethead was great, so this is a good thing. Pretty much straight forward, speedy melodic punk, a bunch of originals plus a Buzzcocks cover. If you want an extra “sounds like” comparison that ISN’T directly related, they also remind me of Gunmoll, which is awesome. I think you know what I’m getting at with this. (Arsenic) [Jersey Beat]

BANNER PILOT: Resignation Day: CD

I bought a “super limited record release version” CDR, which I thought ruled. Until it didn’t work. Damn! But I got a “real” copy, which I feel is less cool. Anyway, this is a pretty great follow up to Pass The Poison. It’s pretty similar, and kind of reminds me of a more aggressive version of the later era Lookout! records pop punk. At first I was surprised by how trebly the whole thing sounded compared to the EP, but it went away quickly when I realized just how great some of these new songs are. (Go Kart) [Razorcake]

BATTLETORN: Terminal Dawns: CD
Two piece metal that’s still brutal in light of being a little stripped down. Reminds me of the kind of stuff you usually hear at ABC No Rio these days, way “crunchy” and growly vocals. Another plus is that there’s twenty two songs in about seventeen minutes, so it’s hard to get tired of it. (Mad At The World) [Razorcake]

BESTIES, THE: Home Free: CD

I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been in this situation; you hear about a band, happen to see them randomly at a show, hear a song or two, and think “Man, this is great,” only never following up for whatever reasons. Such is the case here. They play indie pop with duel keyboards and lady vocals, with a decent-ish pop punk edge to it (“What Would Tim Armstrong Do?” reminds me of one of my favorite Green Day songs). Recommended if you like poppier stuff. (Hugpatch) [Razorcake]

BILLY REESE PETERS: Almost Heaven: CD
This is basically a testament to how great things must be in Florida, if your SIDE BANDS are this great, let alone your main bands. This is folks from Grabass Charlestons and Army of Ponch amongst many others, who have managed to pretty much nail the balance between punk, and ROCK - it’s like equal parts Spoke and Skynyrd. I’d say “this goes from fast, fist in the air ballads to smooth, sweet songs about sitting back and enjoying some beers (amongst other things)”, but it pretty much does both, at the same time, all the way through. This record may have taken seven years and twenty something different potential titles, but it’s well worth the wait. (No Idea!) [Jersey Beat]

BLACK MOON: Self Titled: CD
I couldn’t really tell if this was trying to be punk, metal, rock, stoner metal, or what, and I’m not sure if they can tell either. It’s not terrible, it just doesn’t really grab me. (Self-Released) [Jersey Beat]

BLOODLINED CALLIGRAPHY: YPSILANTI: CD
I’m pretty sure this can be counted as metal-core. I mean, it’s kind of newer-hardcore, with a lot of metal overtones to it. I have an ex who’d probably be all over this if she still listened to stuff like this, and not become a total emo fan (though that probably doesn’t mean much to you). It’s not bad, and as long as they don’t try to pull the whole “YO, DON’T MESS WITH THIS, WE’RE TOUGH” card, it’s cool by me. (Face Down) [Jersey Beat]

BLOODY WALL OF GORE: Greetings! From Plant BWOG: CD
Ok, I think I’ve been outsmarted; this goes from jazz with really juvenile lyrics (like about having sex with squids), to growly death metal (with lyrics that sound like they’re making fun of growly death metal). It’s a valiant effort, just a little to “wacky” for me. (Self-Released) [Razorcake]

BOB ÜCKER: Self-Titled: CDR
It’s with this that I’m starting to realize how much of a “Milwaukee sound” there is, and that it’s great. This is a fine sample of basement punk (you know, awesome bands that are broke because all they do is spend time writing songs for their bands, and then doing nothing but playing them in the basements of punk houses across the country). I’ll also point out that this contains ex members of the Modern Machines, which isn’t the only reason you should check this out, but it’ll give you somewhat of a better idea what to expect. (Self-Released) [Jersey Beat]

BRACKET: Requiem: CD
After six years, bumpkin punks Bracket have returned with a new record on a new label. Starting out with an intro that can only be described as “Caddy Shack-esque”, Requiem is a comeback record that, while isn’t perfect, is still pretty great. The songs (ALL of which entitled “Warrens Song Part x”) still have that trademark “Fat sound” to them, with a few little country touches every now and then. A few songs feel a bit rushed, but nothing that will leave you disappointed. Apparently they recorded this in their new home studio, which was built inside a trailer, which is equally impressive. If there’s any justice, they’ll get a cameo on “My Name Is Earl” soon. (Takeover) [Jersey Beat]

BRUTAL KNIGHTS: Feast of Shame: CD
Whoa, so this band totally rocks out? Straight forward, doesn’t hold back rock: Check. Part sleazy part hilarious songs like “Teach Me Sex” and “We Have A Website”: CHECK. Yes, I think this band totally rocks out and can’t recommend this enough, whether you like heavier stuff or not. (Deranged) [Razorcake]

BULLYS, THE: BQE Overdrive: CD
Ehhh; a combination of street punk/hardcore riffs, mixed with “we’re badass, we totally don’t care what you think” attitudes. I pretty much made up my mind by “Pop Is For Fags”. Yeah, you don’t care what people think, I get it. I guess that makes two of us. (The Bullys) [Razorcake]

BUZZCOCKS, THE: Flat-Pack Philosophy: CD

The problem with this record is a case of Simpsons syndrome: If you wrote a record like this it’s likely to say you’d be happy with it. However, at this point, the general consensus will be “It doesn’t hold a candle to the old stuff”, no matter what they put out. I’d still take this over some of these alleged “Groundbreaking” bands from today, that are still sucking it up. (Cooking Vinyl) [Jersey Beat]

BYKES AND BRIDGES: Speak Treason: TAPE

Even though I wasn’t an original/super long time fan, I can tell you this sounds like the very first incarnation of Against Me!, but with gruffer voices, and without any pot and pan percussion. Basically, your standard Plan-It-X/train hopper solo acoustic stuff. Also, in trying to find the contact info, I found out that this normally comes with a zine, and my review copy did not. NOT COOL, BYKES AND BRIDGES, NOT COOL. (http://www.myspace.com/bykesandbridges) [Razorcake]

CAPITAL: Signal Corps: CD
I’ll be honest, when I saw “New York hardcore” on here, I got a little nervous, seeing as my favorite New York hardcore bands are the kind that throw White Castle all over the place, and are few and far between. Upon listening though, this sounds like a band that I’d see at firehouse shows in the suburbs in the late 90’s. This would be a great record if the songs weren’t so long to the point where they start to drag on, but at the worst, it’s still not bad. (Iron Pier) [Razorcake]

CAPITAL STEPS: I'm Not Listening: CD
I’m somewhat of a nerd when it comes to video games – I’ll admit it, I’m ok with it. So while there’s already a number of bands that exclusively cover video game music, this seems to be a record of electronic music (which I admittedly don’t know much about) that’s created from samples and loops FROM old video games, particularly from the original Game Boy (yeah, that’s right). The whole thing was a little too long for me to listen to in one sitting more than once, but it’s still cool to check out if you’re way into video games. (Go Midnight) [Razorcake]

CAPTAIN CHAOS: This Is Cake: CD
I’m pretty sure this is the dude(s) that run Plan-It-X, and that this is a concept album, the concept being that it was written/recorded as a birthday present to a friend of theirs. Like a lot of the PIX stuff, this is all fairly lo-fi, acoustic stuff, some of which gets pretty silly at times, and some of which takes more than one listen to get used to. Now, this may not be flawless, but for what it is (a simple folk punk record, done entirely in about three days, while the dude was apparently sick), it’s still really good. I’ll add that if someone called me up and told me “Hey, Captain Chaos is playing at the Laundromat in our cruddy town tonight,” I’d eagerly head over. (Crafty) [Razorcake]

CARDINAL SIN, THE: Hurry Up and Wait: CD
It makes no difference how many “punk” bands end up their own prime time specials, and make quintuple platinum records, I’ll still get weird looks from people for wearing a Toys That Kill t-shirt, or have people tell me “The Ergs? No one knows who they are.” That’s sort of what I like about The Cardinal Sin; this is poppy enough that your average random person won’t just write this off. However, there’s also some indie/post punk overtones, and compared to most of those garbage bands that worry on “making it”, this band actually focuses on coming up with good songs. Here I could probably play this in front of both my Mom (and she wouldn’t HATE it) and my friends (who would probably enjoy it. I like this. (Grey Flight) [Razorcake]

CATALOGS, THE: Scrunchy b/w Zombie Girl: 7”

Apparently this was in the works as far back as a decade ago, and didn’t come out until now. I wasn’t way into the Mutant Pop/that pop punk scene back then, so it’s all new to me. This seems like pretty straight forward stuff though, mid-tempo Ramones-core with some Buddy Holly leads thrown in. I’m fascinated that this band is from Hawaii, but other than that it’s nothing that holds my attention for too long. (Mutant Pop) [Razorcake]

CAUSTIC CASANOVA: Imminent Eminence: CD

Track one is titled “Are We Doing This?”, that’s a weird, phased out guitar experiment. From there is goes back and forth from stuff like that, and some other stuff that kind of sounds like a more mid-tempo Bracket, with Fred Schnieder’s third nephew singing. I guess they are doing this. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

CHEEKY: Choke On A Cheeseburger: CDR
I don’t know if it was intended as such, but when I listen to Cheeky I hear a total throwback to the Recess catalog. There’s the fast, snotty-ness like mid-era FYP, with Bent Outta Shape-similar leads sprinkled throughout. Meanwhile, there’s young lady vocals screaming about jerks at shows, being mad because of jerks, and jerks in general. As a fan of a lot of these things from Recess I’m reminded of, I think this is a flawless EP, and officially think this band completely rules. (Freedom School) [Razorcake]

CHINESE TELEPHONES: Self-titled: CD
I think if the Marked Men had a touch more of a garage/power pop influence to them, they’d be the Chinese Telephones. Having finally released a proper full length (and after asking about it in a previous review, I can quite safely assume 110% of the credit), it some more of the familiar fast and catchy hits we already love, as well as some slower ones (which the asshole in me still likes, just not as MUCH as the faster/catchier ones, though that’s gradually changing with every listen). Listening to this gives me the impression that these guys are the type of band that could play at a party in any little jerk-water burg, and instantly win over everyone in attendance, from the (literal) kids to the older, “been around” dudes. (It’s Alive) [Razorcake]

CHORDS ARE DEAD: The Siren: EP
So this came with a press sheet telling me how this band nerds out over all sounds of weird underground/indie rock, like Hüsker Dü, and The Wipers. I proceeded to put this on, expecting all sorts of crazy weird insane noise, I got weird, borderline psychedelic, but all in all mellow jams. It’s ok, and while I put it back on the shelf for now, knowing me I’ll come across it about a month from now and be all “OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T LISTENED TO THIS IN FOREVER!” (self released) [Razorcake]

CLAVIN, CHRIS: The Roads Don’t Lead Home. The Roads Lead Everywhere: LP

New long player from the guy who brought/brings you Plan It X, Ghost Mice, and, obviously, Operation: Chris Clavin. I think if you’ve heard the name more than once or twice by now, you know what to expect (fairly lo fi folk punk), and if you’ll like it or not. Like a lot of his projects I’ve listened to, there’s a concept, this time being that all the songs are about what happened in different cities on a recent tour, which by the first song, made me think that’s like something J Church would do. I can’t honestly say I’m worried about wearing this out anytime soon, but I still enjoyed it, and think it’s a novel idea, nicely executed. Shit, anytime I get home all I do is blab about new girls I have crushes on. (Crafty) [Razorcake]

COBRA SKULLS: Draw Muhammad: CDEP

I’d never actually heard this band, despite hearing the name over and over again. “Like Against Me! but with more ska punk” was also what I’d heard, and I have to say, that’s pretty dead on. Come to think about it, they kind of remind me of Against All Authority without the horns. It didn’t immediately grab me at the first listen, but I do have a feeling I’ll want to go back to it later. Also, apparently Craigums from Love Songs/Conquest For Death recorded this, which scores bonus points in my book. (Red Scare) [Razorcake]

CONQUEST FOR DEATH: Front Row Tickets To Armageddon: CD

Great hardcore that comes out to about part blazing fast power-violence (minus the cookie monster vocals), with heavy metal, with thirteen songs in about fourteen minutes. I’d say the biggest downside is that you couldn’t enjoy all the guitar theatrics (Review within review: HOTT LIXX HULIHAN: Debut : 7” EP: It’s an AIR GUITAR 7”! How great is that?), but the CD has some live footage if you put it on a computer. Totally awesome. (Wajlemac) [Razorcake]

COPYRIGHTS, THE: Button Smasher: 7” EP
I can’t help but wonder if I got this because I’m into pop punk, or because I do all my reviews while playing Super Smash Brothers. Anyway, this is a really good, Ramones style pop punk record, with tons of sing along choruses. You could easily take any song from this, and seamlessly put it on a Lookout! Records comp, from when they still had bands like Squirtgun, The Lillingtons, and Moral Crux. If you like pop punk at all, you’ll like this. (It’s Alive) [Razorcake]

COPYRIGHTS, THE: Learn The Hard Way: CD
I’ll admit, this is one of those bands I got into much later than everyone else for whatever reason, but I’ve become well aware of this by now, and made sure to pick this up as soon as they came around. Before they’ve had the whole “distinct pop punk without being generic”, with the last record building on that, this one feels a bit darker, with just a touch of F.Y.P. style thrash to it (just slightly though, as they’re still tight as ever). I like this quite a bit. (Red Scare) [Razorcake]

DANIEL JAMES GANG, THE: In This City: CDR
As much as I love the Chinese Telephones songs themselves, there’s something to be said about seeing them live, and watching Daniel James go wild with his guitar. He can say he’s “not that good” all he wants, but he’s got his own thing going on, and he pulls it off, and well. This solo band of his is definitely more in that vein, I WANT to say “like Led Zepplin, Rolling Stones, and such”, but ultimately I have to come clean and say “the stuff I wrote off up until a while ago(/still do to an extent) because it’s not punk”. But yeah, it’s very classic/garage/power pop influenced stuff that’s pretty cool, and I think “No Reason To Stay” is my favorite song on it. (Self Released) [Razorcake]

DAN PADILLA: Self-titled: CD
There’s a part of me that wants to say that this is what the Replacements would sound like as a basement/party punk band, but another says that’s just taking an easy way out. There’s going to be inevitable Tiltwheel references made, but I think that’s fitting considering it’s some of the same dudes. There’s notable differences though, as Dan Padilla’s got a bit more soul to it (I know it’s been said before by other people, but it’s true), with an occasional TOUCH of country twang, but it’s still rockin’ through and through. My only complaint is that this is a great summer night record, and here I got it in the middle of winter. (ADD) [Razorcake]

DARLINGTON: Sex: CD
Here’s the deal: Darlington is apparently a “solo-artist”, who just uses different backing bands every album/tour. Here’s the rest of the deal: There is nothing redeeming about this, at all. Period. Musically it’s just tenth wave “Hey, I wrote a song with three power chords, sign me to ’94-era Lookout!” pop-punk. But that’s not the worst part. This guy tries to pull off the whole “No one understands my poor, misunderstood heart, I shall never find a lady to ever love someone like ME”, as well as “We bang all night and it’s awesome” cards simultaneously. I think this may actually be WORSE than any MTV/Top 40 wanna-be punk-pop band, because with this someone may actually think “Oh hey so real punks can act like frat boys too? AWESOME!” I’m glad to hear that apparently all girls that are into pop-punk are here solely to service this “dude!” (Or alternately, “Brah!”) sexually any way he sees fit. This is so terrible I wouldn’t even blow this up in my microwave. (Fast Music) [Jersey Beat]

DC SNIPERS: Missle Sunset: CD
The last time I saw the DC Snipers, they were going crazy in a bar in the Lower East Side, eventually screaming chants of “ALL HUMANS ARE GARBAGE!” Needless to say, I was a bit surprised that this record wasn’t crazy off the bat (the first song starts with a quiet intro, so it takes a good five seconds or so). But, it picks up fast, and won me over even more than I was expecting it to. Touché Snipers, touché. Fans of old, weird, obscure, Killed By Death style punk, this is for you. (Dead Beat) [Jersey Beat]

DEAR LANDLORD/CHINESE TELEPHONES: Split: 7”
Dear Landlord: The new guys. Equal parts Rivethead and The Copyrights (literally), this band is a fucking powerhouse. I’m calling it pop punk, but with more raw power than 1-4-5. They’ve also figured out a nice loop hole to the eternal “do we want to double our vocals when we record?” by having up to three dudes (again, who can belt ‘em out) all singing at once at times. We’ve got a strong contestant for best band of the year. Chinese Telephones: The established guys. You’ve probably heard the name before, particularly if you’ve read this magazine before. Still fun, catchy, upbeat, etc punk rock, that kind of reminds me of the one God Hates Computers song I heard. Now get that proper full length out. Overall: A pretty great look into what’s going on in “somewhere in between pop and straight up punk rock”. (Co-Release: It’s Alive/Recess) [Razorcake]

DEEP SLEEP: Three Things At Once: CD

I’d heard this name from a bunch of my other friends, but never really checked them out for whatever reason. Modern dudes taking a strong influence from ‘80s hardcore (Circle Jerks, Adolescents, etc) that extended from the Descendents to more of the Cruz records roster (See: Title of this). I also like the convenience of having a bunch of other records in one nice little package. Neat. (Grave Mistake/Wallride) [Razorcake]

DEFECT DEFECT: Demo: Tape, and Yeah, I’m A Terrorist b/w Little Ways: 7”
Holy SHIT; new favorite band. Quick synopsis, think if Black Flag kicked out Henry, and brought in Milo. Even still, I think that’s kind of not doing them justice. Kinda weird, with a perfect balance of being really pissed off, alongside hopeful optimism. I’m also going to point out that on the 7”, there’s four different covers, one for each member. I’m way psyched that there’s still good, serious punk bands, that still love fun. This is awsesome. (self released/Clarence Thomas) [Razorcake]

DEFECT DEFECT: Words: 7”
It’s official; I still think Defect Defect are one of the best bands going in American punk today (actually, just make that punk). The A side is new versions of songs from the demo tape, and one of the best examples of making you feel like you’re seeing a band live ever. The B side is one new song that’s a little weirder, but makes me really anxious to see what kind of directions they’re going in. Though at this rate, I don’t want a full length, because if they tour the US for every 7” they put out, my guess is that they’ll somehow strap water skis to their van and literally drive it around the Earth to support an LP. Seriously, get into this band right now. (CTR) [Razorcake]

DIE HOFFNUNG: Love Songs: CD
I think I’m just going to say it. Compared to it’s essentially older incarnation I Hate Myself: WORSE name, BETTER band. I don’t know how popular those opinions will be, but this is a straight up cool record. Weird, eclectic minimalist post punk that’s that still has some really good stuff going on, from feeling incredibly urgent (you know who this reminded me of at times? The Cost) to some slower, more relaxed jams. There are some shorter songs, and some longer ones, which help keep it from getting too repetitive as well. Listening to this makes me sad I’ve never actually seen them live, as I imagine they’re put on a hell of a show. (No Idea!) [Jersey Beat]

DILLINGER FOUR: Civil War: CD

There’s a catch when your first full length is a classic; How do you follow it up? Even if you come back with something just as great, even if the aesthetic is a little different, you’ll still get “Well, it’s no FIRST record…” I bring this up because it’s easily been D4’s greatest obstacle over the years, all of their output getting “But, Midwestern Songs, dude”, which is pretty cheap. For once, I will buy the “This is way more polished” argument, but at this point, I can’t help but find it a reminder that at heart, this is a pop punk band with a full on Mötörhead attack (and nuts the size of grapefruit). And while, yeah, it isn’t Midwestern Songs, you’d have to be a jerk to deny that there isn’t a handful of new classics on this one. (Fat Wreck) [Razorcake]

DOG ASSASSIN: Imperial States of America: 7”EP
Sweet zombie jesus, I don’t know where this came from, but I’m glad it got here. Five songs of awesome thrash that could probably be looked at in the same level as anything on Havoc. To sweeten the deal, this came with free stuff, AND the vinyl looks great (half black, half red). But the kicker—the cover has DARTH VADER on it! This is too good to be true. At first I may have to donate this to the Star Wars bathroom in Hotel Astoria, but screw that, I’m not giving this away so easily. (Spacement) [Razorcake]

Dogo & Crackerjacks: Bast Demo: Tape
Very dark, trudging noise, which gets a little repetitive at times, but it’s difficult to really analyze it (Because after all, how do you really “compare” noise?). Mildly Sonic Youth inspired, especially with both male and female members, which is always a good thing. I’d play it in my car when I’m actually driving around in the middle of the night, if I weren’t afraid it would make me more paranoid than I already am. Hopefully dihd and its artists will keep working towards putting out more quality, ultra DIY releases. (dihd) [Jersey Beat]

DOPAMINES/TILL PLAINS: Split: 7”

Dopamines: First time hearing them on record, pretty standard rough/Midwest style pop punk, with one straight forward song, and one acoustic-then-way-loud song. It’s ok. Till Plains: First time hearing of them, ever. Kind of like a noodly indie rock band, but with a faster/harder attack.– (It’s Alive/Soapy Hand) [Razorcake]

Electric Six: Señor Smoke: CD
The Electric Six are in a strange position – They’re getting pretty big for an indie band, but they’re too silly and goofy to be taken seriously by the mainstream. Fortunately, I think this work out for the best for them. If you haven’t heard them yet, it’s silly, disco-rock, that’s often raunchy and/or referential to pop culture, to add to the effect. Granted, that shtick is attempted quite often, but these guys pull it off. I just wish there were one or two fewer songs that “attempt” to seem serious (And that they put more effort in the two intro/skits, for that matter). I don’t see why you wouldn’t enjoy them, lest you hate fun (Though I must admit, I want to seem someone take serious offense and call them terrorists for saying “Mr. President we don’t like you/you don’t know how to ROCK”). (Metropolis) [Jersey Beat]

ENDLESS MIKE AND THE BEAGLE CLUB: The Husky Tenor: CD
Interesting, apparently this band is comprised of ten plus dudes, and yet they aren’t a ska band. In fact, this is a whole bunch of folky/country jams that range from light and sensitive, to pretty rockin’, without just coming off as another Against Me! or Plan-It-X style rip off (as many other bands like this often do). This combined with the interesting packaging (which while I’m not positive, I suspect is the work of the label, who often pulls cool shit like this), I enjoy the bejesus out of this. (Crafty) [Razorcake]

ERGS!, THE: Ben Kweller: 12”EP

I’m not going to deny that The Ergs are easily one of, if not my favorite band over the past few years, so getting a copy of this reissue (it was previously only available on CD), I was a different kind of excited, because I knew I love this record, but it’s still KIND of like listening to it for the first time. To me, this is great because it’s got so much of the trademark Erg-isms that made me love them in the first place; the dorky “here’s music we love” references (title track/“When Your Squeeze”), quick thrashy songs (“Million Perfect Days”/ “Nambla Grey Area”), and straight up great pop punk songs like “Ashley Sugarnotch”. Yeah, this rules. (Freedom School) [Razorcake]

ERGS!, THE: Books About Miles Davis b/w Only Babies Cry: 7”
I’m guessing that if you’re reading this, you already know who The Ergs! are, or will find out soon enough. Anyway, you know the song where Mike gets up from the drum set to sing towards the end of their set now? You know, the one that’s insanely good, even for them? Yeah, this is it (featuring more egg shaker here than on the LP ), backed with a Paul Baribeau cover. I don’t think the pressing(s) were that large, so I’d pick this up ASAP if I were you. (Whoa Oh) [Razorcake]

THE ERGS!: Jerseys Best Prancers: CD
First things first: It's CD reissue of a 12" that ended up going completely out of print in about a day. It’s The Ergs!, so you already know what to expect. This is pretty straight forward, by which I mean “these are all great poppy punk songs with touches of the classic 80’s American underground sound”, as opposed to something like “a great pop punk/Motown record”, which they’re probably busy writing as I type this. Now that the obligatory stuff is out of the way, here’s what I love about this record: I’ll listen to this, and think how the perfect way to hear it is while standing outside of some punk house, either being played live, or just really loud on a stereo, on a Summer evening, while I think how out of the rest of the world, I’d rather be right there, that out of all the possible outcomes, I’m happy I ended up like this. (Don Giovanni) [Jersey Beat]

ERGS!, THE: Upstairs/Downstairs: CD
There’s a band from New Jersey called The Nerds; they’re a typical cover band, they play things like weddings and corporate events and your typical shore bars, and the shtick is that they dress up in horn rimmed glasses and wear pocket protectors, while playing mostly various top 40 hits from throughout the past few decades, like “WHOA, LOOK AT US WE’RE TOTALLY DORKY THAT’S NUTS RIGHT??”. I point this out, because I can’t help but find it somewhat ironic that (and I mean this in the nicest way possible) The Ergs! have completely beaten “The Nerds” at their own game, so to speak. They’re smart dudes, and they know and obsess over all things music. We know they’ve already nailed writing the quick, catchy, poppy punk love songs, but there’s more proof here of just how talented they are (for example “Stinking Of Whiskey Blues”, as well as the brilliant title track [which may actually be my favorite Ergs! song ever]). And if that’s not enough, they traveled all the way to the other side of the country just to record with Conrad Uno (and most likely demand to hear every little story he has), and with one of their favorite bands to boot (you’ve heard of bringing your favorite band with you on tour? Yeah, they’ve upped the ante there too). I have no doubt in my mind that they could figure out a way to play music full time, be it by playing multiple sets at country and jazz bars every day, or becoming some lame ass cover band, but instead they keep putting out records like this, and playing great shows, and for that I am thankful. (Dirtnap) [Razorcake]

ERGS!, THE: Hindsight Is 20/20 My Friend: CD

By the time this goes to print, The Ergs! will have played their “last show”. Bummer, on account that I found them to be one of the most inspiring bands in the American underground today. This singles collection is a reminder why. Musically speaking, they weren’t afraid to just do whatever the hell they wanted. “Thrash about the monotony of touring? We’ll record it on our day off. Alt country? Bring it on, we’ll do a 7.” Call me an asshole, but that’s a lot more exciting than a lot of other formulaic bands I’ve seen get big these days. Then again, these guys still wrote some of straight up poppy punk rock songs about girls and being backstage at NOFX concerts in a long time. I hope more bands down the line take a lesson from these guys, because at this point I feel like if you don’t like The Ergs!, you’re an asshole. (Dirtnap) [Razorcake]

EVAPORATORS, THE: Gassy Jack and Other Tales: CD
I’ll admit it, as much as I love Narduar’s interviews, and as intrigued as I was in his musical output, I’d never heard The Evaporators before. But GODDAMN, this is awesome. I was expecting mid-tempo, jangly power-pop, and it starts off like a more eccentric version of Regulations. THEN it quickly turns into some wacky, funny, way danceable jams. To back it up, I received this at one of the most depressed points I’ve been in a while, and upon first listen I was jumping around, making the decision I shall travel to Vancouver to see them during the winter Olympics. Added bonuses are the videos on the CD version, plus an encounter with Courtney Love. This rules! (Mint) [Razorcake]

EVER WE FALL: We Are But Human: CD
So I’d heard that Hopeless had totally changed what kind of records they were putting out, but WOW. It’s hard to believe that the label that released “Midwestern Songs” has changed formats to stuff like this. It’s not terrible, just not something I’d listen to on a regular basis. Plus the album doesn’t really ‘flow’, as much as sounds like a bunch of songs that’ll hopefully end up on the radio. I couldn’t help but think that my friends that used to listen to metal but turned into screamo fans would love this. (Hopeless) [Jersey Beat]

EVERYOTHERS, THE: Pink Sticky Lies: CD
This sounds like NYC hipster indie-rock, but at least this band does it ok, especially compared to the hundreds of other bands that try to be like this. Not really the kind of stuff I’d expect from Kill Rock Stars, but then again they’ve put out both Sleater Kinney and Born Against records, so what do I know? For only five songs, this is pretty good. (Kill Rock Stars) [Jersey Beat]

www.manofinfirmity.blogspot.com

The Chinese Telephones

2008-06-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

The first time I finally saw The Chinese Telephones was at last year’s Insubordination Fest – technically, I missed them play the “real” show, but I ended up seeing them the next day at the Charm City Art Space, and if I didn’t know any better, would’ve sworn they were playing a packed club even bigger than The Ottobar. Yeah, it’s a cliché thing to say, but it was true. The Chinese Telephones are a band of guys that know what they like (punk, pop punk, and power pop and garage rock, for starters), and they go and play the hell out of it.

Justin: Guitar and vocals
Daniel James: Lead guitar

Joe: Which of you have been accused of being terrorists?
Daniel James: I don't know if any of us have ever been outright accused of terrorism, but... Andy and I used to live in this house in the summer of 2003. We would book a lot of shows there, and one of those shows was supposed to take place on September 11. Annihilation Time was supposed to play along with High On Crime, Holy Shit!, and a band called Attack. Someone reported the flier to Homeland Security and our house got all fucked up and we were all kicked out onto the street. Luckily Annihilation Time still got to play at the Robot House that day. I also had a huge ordeal trying to get my passport when we went to Japan. I think it's because my beard made the government think I was a terrorist.
Joe: How important is the band Hot Carl in the formation of the Chinese Telephones?
Dan James: I had seen Hot Carl once at that same house that Andy and I got fucked over at. I wanna say they played with Fleshies, Toys That Kill, and Rivethead. It was a pretty awesome show, and a lot of the songs they played that night ended up becoming Chinese Telephones songs. I had met Justin maybe once or twice before that at various shows, but this was the first time I had seen him play a show. I dug the songs, and if I didn't I would have never volunteered to play in his new band
Justin: We don’t play any of the Hot Carl songs anymore, though, because they aren’t very good. I think Hot Carl played an important part in getting people in Milwaukee to hate Chinese Telephones from the get-go. I guess we did play one of those songs in Japan. It was pretty bad.
Joe: Did you tour Mexico?
Daniel: We've never toured Mexico. We played in Juarez once on one of our first tours. It was with The Answer Lies. It was pretty cool. We parked our van across the border in El Paso, and we just wheeled our amplifiers across the border on skateboards. Then when we got there, there were a bunch of kids hanging out outside the club and they greeted us with hugs and stuff. My Spanish is pretty bad (and since then it's probably gotten worse) but I was able to talk to a bunch of kids with the little bit of Spanish I knew and the little bit of English they knew and it was pretty fun.
Justin: My mom and step-dad were there for a little while that night, ‘cause they were visiting my uncle who lives in El Paso. After they left, I remember doing drugs with a couple nice ladies in the girls bathroom, then the bartender came in and made me get out because I was a boy. Also, the piss trough in the men’s room had a broken pipe, so urine was oozing out all over the floor and into the bar. I think we were paid in 40s of Tecate that were sitting on the floor in the piss, under the pool table that had a piece of plywood over it. That’s where the drummers played. On top of the pool table. One guy fell off and hit his head on the back wall.
Joe: Is Justin solely responsible for the Potential Johns playing today?
Dan: Probably.
Justin: That’s silly. He had so many songs that he never planned on releasing. He would just record them to give to his brother and some friends, so I asked him if he’d do a split with us, and he said if it was only on vinyl he would do it. I did my share of bugging him to get a band together, but I’m sure lots of other people did, too. I’m just glad that it finally happened.
Joe: Who named Daniel James “The King of Rock and Roll”?
Dan: That was solely a self proclaimed thing. When I was a little kid (ages three to six) I was way into Elvis. I wanted to be him. It comes from that. I had similar infatuations with the Incredible Hulk and when I was in second grade, I more embarrassingly thought I should be the new Jon Bon Jovi. I like to forget that part though and just remember the time I wanted to grow up and be the next Elvis.
Joe: I’d say that’s not out of the question. What’s your current band count at now?
Dan: I'm currently in three bands. I'm in Chinese Telephones, and I play bass in a band with my girlfriend called Jack Moves. I also do the Daniel James Gang which started out as a bunch of four track demos of just me doing everything with a drum machine, which is where the egotistical name came from. Now I got a full band playing the songs with me though.
Joe: Why did it take so long for the full length to be released?
Justin: The mixing took a while, because Jeff and Mark who recorded it were busy with work, school, and their own bands, so they couldn’t get together very often. They would mix a couple songs and email them to me, I’d have to get together with the other guys and listen to the songs, then tell Jeff what we thought should be done differently, and the process would start over again. All of that made things take quite a while.
Dan: We needed to find a label to put it out. I owe Adam from It's Alive! my soul now.

(Originally published in the 2008 Insubordination Fest Zine)

The Ergs!/Modern Machines Tour Journal - Spring '06

2008-06-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

So here’s the deal. It’s spring time, I have no job, no prospects what so ever (even George Costanza at least had the morning paper). A few weeks ago I go to see The Ergs! at Maxwell’s (and sell some CD’s to come up with the few bucks for the door), and while I’m watching them play their hearts out to about ten people, I’m thinking about just how much they’re a modern day version of everyone from “Our Band Could Be Your Life”. Afterwards we’re talking, and I mention how awesome it’ll be when The Modern Machines come around in a few weeks. The next thing I know, I’m in line to ride along for a few days, for the entire week long tour. Like a mule with a spinning wheel, damned if I know how it I got it, but if nothing, I’m going to enjoy it.

On The Road with The Ergs!

Day 1: Tommy’s Tavern, Brooklyn NY
After a two hour train ride, I meet up with Joe Erg, load the last of the stuff into the van, and pick up everyone else that’s riding with us to the first show of the week. We stop at a Wawa on the way to get something to eat, and unhealthily large sodas. There’s a bit of a delay getting to Brooklyn, but we figure out the way and finally arrive (Bill Florio’s take on it is officially “Now you know what it’s like trying to find my way around New Jersey!”). I’ve never been here before, but for the time being, Tommy’s seems like a normal bar that local punks hang out at, though maybe it’s just the fact there’s a show tonight. There’s four bands tonight, the first one being Gloryhole. I missed most of their set from loading in equipment, but I caught a Ramones cover at the end.
The Shemps play tonight, making this one of the best lineups of the whole week. I wanted to make sure I was up front, to which the general reaction from everyone else was “Dude, you NEVER want to be up front at a Shemps show”, where as my argument was “Dude, you’ve GOT to be up front at a Shemps show – like a rollercoaster!” The Shemps are great, because they’re legitimately shocking, without resorting to yelling out slogans like “hey, we hate the exact same people you and everyone else hates”, or “I’m going to cut myself and drink my own body fluids even though I secretly think it’s gross, but it looks way tough”. Even more importantly, they play some great punk/garage songs. They play their set, and do their thing, meaning Artie ran around the room, and into the bar room, grabbed other peoples clothes, told a girl she had a “nice rack”, took off his shirt, and grabbed my crotch. All in all, it was everything you’d expect.

Ergs! records and shirts have been put out at this point, so I step out to watch over them, so the Ergs! themselves can watch the Modern Machines set. The whole place is so small that I can hear everything perfectly anyway, so I can deal with only being able to hear for the first night. They start off by playing the first few songs off their Taco Blessing record, and I can tell that this is going to be a great couple of days. There are a few covers thrown in as well, including “Rosa” by Fleshies, “Saturday Night Crap-O-Rama” by The Ergs!, and “Hürtin’ Crüe” by Descendents, having Mike Erg join them to sing it. NOW I’m starting to wish I was seeing it, and not just hearing it.

Jeff Erg’s lady friend Melissa is with us tonight, so the two of us decide she’ll watch over the goods while I tape the set tonight (something tells me she’s already seen The Ergs! at least a few times by now). People were starting to leave, on account that it was getting late, but I went in and snuck behind the sound person booth, figuring it was ok since no one else was there. They open up with “Throttle Boy”, and I’m already excited, and they go on to play “Ashley Sugarnotch”, “Smoke on the Water”, and keep going for a good 40 minutes. I keep thinking to myself “this week is going to be awesome”.

As everything starts to die down afterwards, we load everything back out into the van. We come to find out that the Modern Machines lead guitar player Ben has quit, but not after smashing both his guitar and amp in the middle of the street – yikes. Ben is not only the third Modern Machines lead guitar player, but the third Modern Machines player named Ben. Seriously. It’s already an interesting week, and it’s still the first night, and we still haven’t even left the tri-state area yet. On the way home, everyone trades stories of shows they’ve been to over the years, with Mike having one of the best; seeing a certain ska-punk band whose name will be withheld during high school, and watching one of the members of said ska-punk band hit on a girl, hearing “Uh, I’m 14”, with Mike going “OUCH!”

Day 2: The Parlor, New Brunswick NJ

There’s debate that I’m not actually on tour yet. I make the argument that I am, since I’m still technically a two hour train ride from home, not to mention that I’ve already slept on a couch. There isn’t much to do during the day, so I tag along with Joe while he takes care of some band related chores that only a nerd like me would find interesting to tag along with. It’s still a little early once everything is finished, so we go back to his house and realize that The Jerk is on, and debate skipping the show to watch the rest of it.

The show doesn’t have a huge turnout, but it’s still not bad considering it’s a Wednesday night, during finals week, in a college town. I’d heard about literally a million different bands being the opener (including Hunchback, who sadly didn’t play), and it ends up being The Measure, who I’ve never seen before, but are good – very Sticks and Stones-esque, with influence from a bunch of other weird bands (but bands that are cool BECAUSE they’re weird like that).
Both Modern Machines and Ergs! completely blow their sets from last night out of the water. First, the Modern Machines keep trying some of their newer songs (that happen to be really, really dependent on having a second guitar), and they still pull them off. Maybe now people will start saying they sound like The Jam, instead of The Replacements all the time. The Ergs! finish up, and at one point play their entire new record, Jerseys Best Prancers, in order, as well as a bunch of other random covers as per request of the crowd. After the show is over, I eat some pizza on the sidewalk. Talk about a good night!
Day 3: The Circle Thrift, Philadelphia PA

The other night when we were driving to the show, everyone’s quoting Dirty Work, when I ask “Hey guys, I’ve never actually seen Dirty Work. That’s ok, right?” Needless to say, it wasn’t, and Joe wakes me up off his couch this morning so we can watch it. Again, we’ve got time, so we end up watching a bunch of episodes of the Ben Stiller Show, and The Young Ones (yes, all of this is important). By late afternoon, we gather everyone together, stock up on more 32 ounce sodas, and head down to Philadelphia. Hooray! Tour!

The last time I was in Philadelphia, I got kicked in the head and ended up waiting for three hours in the bus station, so I’m hoping things go a little better this time. Tonight’s show is being held in a loft above a thrift store. It’s being put on by a fellow named Toshi, who I believe came to America from Japan, and immediately started putting on shows - Nice! I’ll point out now that for this whole week, there isn’t one show to be held in a “real” club, the closest thing being Tommy’s Tavern in Brooklyn. Some people may not understand the appeal, but I think this is incredibly awesome. So meanwhile, the bands meticulously search through records, and I find a red sweater I can use to wear while playing with Lost Locker Combo. There’s a decent amount of time before the show, so we do some brief site seeing, including a local record label/screen printer office, and a cute little café. Quote of the day goes to Modern Machine bass player Danny Zaj, while we’re confronted by an old man wearing a tight t-shirt, cut off jean shorts, and flip flops;

Old man: What’s going on here, some rock music or somethin’?
Crowd: Yeah, some bands are going to play.
Old man: What, like heavy metal or something?
Crowd: Mostly just pop-punk, the Ergs! can probably play some metal though.
Old man: Does it cost any money to get in?
Crowd: We think so, probably a few bucks.
Old man: Damn it… … Well, what if you’re a better guitar player than the bands playing, then can you get in for free?
Danny: NOT BLOODY LIKELY!

Needless to say, old man is not happy about hearing this.

There’s actually big tables to put the merch out tonight, so I finally put out copies of a zine I did (Quick back-story: I do a zine, and rushed to get a new issue done, to have copies to give away while on tour – which I proceeded to do, for about two nights altogether). A few people are interested, pick up copies, and start reading right next to me. I am nervous. Modern Machines go on first, and they throw in a Radio Birdman cover. I’m realizing just how diverse the sets have been so far, different songs and orders every night. It makes me that much more psyched to be able to be here for the week.

Next up is a band from south Jersey called Farcial Hoodwink. They’re not bad, sounding like they’ve graduated from the “Dillinger Four school of wise ass song titles”, with a little less distortion. Ergs! finish out the night, and I’ve decided that instead of saying “they were great”, I’m not going to point out the highlights of every night, like the kind of stuff that you don’t see at every single show. This time, it’s hearing some new songs from the next record that haven’t been played much yet (“Like Jazz It Teh New Coke” [sic]), as well as “Rod Argent”, a cover of “One Of My Lies”, and by the end Nato Paisano of the Modern Machines joins on vocals for “Everything Falls Apart”. Afterwards we stay with our friend Jackie O who is nice enough to put us up for the night, and we walk approximately 235 miles (each way) to the nearest diner before going to sleep.
Day 4: Charm City Arts Space, Baltimore

As we get ready to leave for today’s drive, Joe gets a call and finds out that the CD copies of their newest record, Jerseys Best Prancers, will be arriving at his house tomorrow. We have managed to leave for tour just in time to miss picking up the new record. Hooray! From here on, I’ve never been to any of the places we’re going before, aside from bus stations in the middle of the night, which really doesn’t count anyway. I’ve also never been to Waffle House before, which we remedy on this trip.

We get to Baltimore early enough to go record shopping, at Reptilian, and Sound Exchange. All I buy is the Armalite record, but all three Ergs pretty much scour both, looking for pretty much anything they can find. I think more money is spent on records today then will be spent on gas the entire trip (and tomorrow’s show is at a record store, yeeesh). Meanwhile, I’m starting to feel run down as we walk around the city, and it’s only been about three days so far. I’m really wondering how these dudes (both Ergs! and Modern Machines) are able to do this so much, for so long. After killing some time (and in my case, subconsciously trying to rest) in a café (which for some reason, has guitars just lying around?), we finally head over to the show.

After load in, I walk with Mike and Jeff to a McDonalds to get a quick dinner. I haven’t eaten at a McDonalds in a really long time, and wasn’t all psyched to be eating there, but barring the circumstances I suck it up for now. From our table, I notice a store across the street that appears to sell (and please forgive me if I butcher any of this, for I am, in fact, uncultured swine) Middle Eastern women’s apparel, such as burkas, or the outfits that are meant to cover up the entire woman’s body. Said store also appears to be called something like “Modern Modesty”, and the whole thing makes me a little uncomfortable.

At the show, the first band tonight is local and called Active Sac. The good news is that I’ve been told by my traveling partners that they have a huge ALL influence. The bad news is that the bands are playing downstairs; meanwhile I’m watching the merch, which tonight, is upstairs. Bummer. Considering that we’re not exactly in a huge place, and I can still hear everything fine, AND read through some of the magazines they’ve got their (tons of old MRR, Razorcake, Punk Planet, you name it), I won’t complain. From what I can tell, Active Sac DO have quiet the ALL influence too them, and are pretty good (it’s harder to judge in a case like this though, when you’ve never actually heard the band before).

In between, I talk to a bunch of really nice people, more people pick up copies of my zine Button Masher as well. Someone even gave me a free can of Dr. Pop! The Modern Machines start playing, and I can tell that it’s a great set. Nato dedicates “Zero Kid” to “our lovely roadie Megan, and The Ergs!’s lovely roadie Joe!”, and I proceed to swoon. Ergs! finish out the night again, and tonight’s highlights include “Johnny Reznik Needs His Ass Kicked”, “Country Skronk”, “Vampire Party” (sung by Danny Zaj of the Modern Machines), a cover of “‘Ay Paisano!”, and “Ben Kweller”. While I was talking with the locals, there was one in particular who we got along with great over our love of video games. Turns out we end up staying at his house for tonight. Now, first we watch the Ultimate Warrior DVD, as well as the “SNL Best Of: Christopher Walken” collection, when Aaron, our host says “There’s a SuperNintendo upstairs, someone can play Mario Kart if they want”. So a few of us go upstairs, and proceed to find a WALL of Nintendo games. The dude has not one but MULTIPLE FAMICONS, as in the Japanese Nintendo systems! AND he’s got games for them! (mental note: I MUST GO TO THIS HOUSE AGAIN) I am freaking out. Even though I’m feeling pretty bad at this point, I stay up to compete in Bomberman 2 matches with Jeff, Nato and Danny before finally going to sleep way later than I should be. On the one hand, I physically feel terrible. But on the inside, I can’t believe I’m sitting around in Baltimore suburb, playing video games with two of my favorite bands.

Day 5: Chaz’s Bull City Records, Durham NC

Ouch, I’m starting to hurt today. I’m way stuffier, and my throat is sore too. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I actually drank. The travel arrangements are a little different today, Jeff and Nato are switching vans (there’s a possibility that the Modern Machines may stop in Washington DC on the way down, and Nato doesn’t want to risk getting into arguments with any senators). We stop at a Waffle House on the way down, and it’s here that we get the idea for a future prank (which I’ll cover once we get to it).

The way the tour goes, we’re driving all the way down to North Carolina today, so we can stop in Virginia on the way back home. Normally I don’t mind the drives, but today really sucks. My nose will not stop running, and we’re trying to save the last packet of tissues we have, so I pretty much either use my hands, or just let my nose run for about half an hour at a time. I’m feeling slightly better by the time we find Bull City Records, but just enough to buy some more records, and use about half of their supply of toilet paper to blow my nose. The cool part is that Bull City is a really great record store – it’s only a small place, but they’ve managed to arrange it so that there’s a LOT of stuff. And there are essentially three sections: CD’s, vinyl, and local/free stuff. Other than that, everything is organized alphabetically, no matter what the genre. This combined with the fact that the owner Chaz puts on shows officially makes this a worthy place to visit.

Of course, The Ergs! have friends nearby, so we go to visit them, but at the moment, I pretty much barely have any idea what’s going on. Oh well. By the time we come back, everyone else is there, as well as more locals hanging out. You know what would be awesome right now? Hanging out with The Modern Machines? Nope. Meeting some new people? Nope. Lying down on the couch in the back room? Sure. I pay attention to the beginning of the show, a local fellow who’s doing solo covers of old punk songs. Nice touch to start everything off. The next band is the Street Sharks, who are a thrash band, and I don’t want to be touched by anyone so I go back to lye down on the couch. However, I make it a point to run over to where all the equipment is being stored, (on the way I see Street Sharks – awesome thrash, but I made the right choice to avoid getting knocked over by anyone) before The Ergs! play.

Now, remember the prank mentioned before? Here’s the deal: Jeff Erg hates mayonnaise. HATES it. When we eat at Waffle House earlier today, our party happens to be presented with two packets of mayonnaise. It is decided that said packets are to be placed inside Jeff’s box of cords and other equipment without his knowledge, waiting for him until he opens it just before their set. Mike and I are waiting in anticipation. He picks it up. “Hey, what’s with my box…” He opens it.

“MAYONAISE.”

Wowee zowee, you’ve just been pranked! The look on his face – classic!

When they actually get ready to start, there’re some major problems with the PA. So in the meantime, they pull out about 10 minutes worth of jazz covers, the only specific one I catch is by Thelonious Monk. I still really don’t want anyone bumping into me, but I really want to watch their set tonight, so I stake out a little spot in the corner behind them. However, people aren’t moving around too much (despite a thrash heavy set), so I start to feel pretty stupid. At one point in the set, Jeff breaks a string mid song, manages to tell me mid song, and I’m able to run over and get another guitar by the end of the song. I feel somewhat important. Sick, but somewhat important.
Modern Machines go on next, and people seem to be really enjoying them, which is really cool. Not only do they pull the Descendents cover again, but with the relaxed feeling to the show, also throw in “Jealous Again”. People are cheering for a more songs, so they just do a bunch of covers, and everyone loves it. One kid is hanging from florescent light fixtures, trying to kick open the ceiling. I’m reminded of the David Cross bit, “Hey, you know what would be perfect right now? To fuck up the show for EVERYBODY!”
There’s one more band, but I don’t feel good enough to pretend that I care anymore. I’m sitting on the floor, minding the merch. I sell a few odd shirts and CD’s to some people, including one younger fellow who’s really happy to have a show like this come to town. He reminds me of myself in high school, and it makes happy hearing someone like that they want to go start their own band and do other stuff now. At one point after the show, we’re driving to wherever it is we’re staying, and all I can think of is how bad I feel right now. I look out the window, and see people sleeping on the ground as bus stops, and realize that I’m riding along with punk bands, complaining about a cold. Now I just feel like a jerk. I realize it’s really not so bad all things considered, I just wish I was feeling better to hang out with everyone since this is only for a week.

Day 6: Bartley’s House, Charlottesville VA

I’m starting to feel better today, after waking up in a living room on a pile of mattress cushions amongst another pile of tissues. I pretty much just stand around before we leave, but not before I watch in horror as Joe eats cold leftover chicken for breakfast. Then again, we stop at a Wendy’s for a quick lunch (technically breakfast, in my case), and he’s also the one who orders the “Carolina burger”, which has something that looks like chili, cole slaw, and who knows what else on it. I’m still a little out of it, but I’m still really enjoying all of this.

It’s a decent drive to today’s show, which was originally supposed to be in Richmond, but it fell through. Picking up the slack is a Mr. Bartley, of the Stabones, who put on a barbeque so we could play there. It’s a fairly early show, so we’re doing everything we can to make it over in time. Sometime along the way, we finally get in touch with the Modern Machines, for a conversation that goes a little something like this:

Modern Machines: Hey guys what’s up?

Ergs: Nothing really, we just wanted to see how you were doing, and if you think you’ll be ok getting on the show, since it’s early.

Modern Machines: Early? How early?

Ergs: Four…

Modern Machines: Uh oh….

Ergs: Why, where are you now?

Modern Machines: Durham.

So we get to the show, and are greeted by our host. Mike and I (and someone else, who I think was one of the Pink Razors) walk down to a convenience store to get some sodas, where they also sell pickled pigs feet, and crack pipes. We come back and The Ergs! start their set shortly afterwards. There’d been talk of having to do a karaoke set, since Mike’s been losing his voice, but everything’s just fine. The tour is almost over, so I’m just standing there, watching the last sets of the week. Best of all, I’m actually feeling a lot better, as if the show is help curing everything. “Sinuses clearing! Sore throat disappearing! Acne – still there. But sore throat disappearing!”

There’s a decent amount of people hanging out for a basement show/back yard party, and I’d try to talk to people but I still feel a little run down, so I stick to watching bands. Pink Razors are next, the best descriptions I’ve heard of them involve Screeching Weasel and Dillinger Four, and considering there was a cover of What We Hate, I think it’s a fair assessment. Shortly after starting, the Modern Machines finally arrive, just in time to catch the bulk of the set. There’s another band on in between, but we all pretty much hang out in the backyard. Danny is writing out set lists, and is nice enough to take my request for Unequipped. I’m all excited for their set, but a weird excited. On the one hand, it’s another time I get to see the Modern Machines, but on the other, tour is pretty much over after this, which is kind of a bummer. But screw that, as long as I don’t fall into the unexplainable hole that I’m standing next to in this crowded basement, I’m enjoying this as much as possible.

It’s starting to get a bit late by now, and unfortunately, we need to hit the road. It sucks that we have to miss our host’s band, The Stabones, but we figure if we don’t start out six hour drive home now, we’ll never start it. We say our goodbyes, and discounting a stop at Waffle House for a celebratory dinner (where it turns out they actually didn’t lose money on this tour! Hooray!), we head home. It may not seem like it’s that hard just to ride back home, but it’s tougher than you’d think. I start to pass out at times, and hallucinate, thoroughly convinced that Mike is a box of tissues. By the time we get back, drop off everyone else and make it back to Joe’s house, it’s after 4 AM. I’m getting my stuff out of the van, and before I can even finish he’s already inside. Right as I’m about to walk in, I hear him say “They’re here”, as we decide to put off sleep for a few more minutes to open the first boxes of Jerseys Best Prancers on CD. We take a copy out, admiring how great it looks, when Joe hands it to me. “Here’s for a good job roadie!”

All in all, tour was pretty awesome. And I get paid for it, in the form of an awesome record.

Tour was awesome.

On the way home.

It’s weird, there was a fair amount of time towards the end of the week where I really wanted to be back at home. Yet, I’m on a train back home, haven’t not been able to shower in days (helps you get a seat to yourself, that’s for sure), and now I’m just depressed that there’s no show tonight. I’ve said it more than enough, but tour was great. It may be over, but having practically lived in a van and out of a backpack for a few days, you get a new perspective on things. It sucks to be back in a town with nothing to do, but it’s nice to be sleeping in a bed tonight. If nothing else, I may not be coming home to much, but for a few days I had the greatest job in the world.

Thanks to everyone who put on the shows, gave us a place to sleep, and came out, said hello, and helped make crazy stuff like this possible.

The Fest IV

2008-05-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

How I survived The Fest IV (No really – I’m asking…)

I really can’t express how excited I was to go down to The Fest IV, the new holiday which has practically become a pilgrimage to those with any love of punk. For those who don’t know, The Fest is a combination of efforts from great folk like No Idea! Records, Razorcake, and was in fact officially sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon. Despite having never really done anything like it before, I was determined to make it this year. Just thinking about it, with three and a half days of watching some of the best punk bands around, and hanging out with friends, it wasn’t even a vacation so much as it was a brief time spent in a whole other world.

Pre-Fest Day

After arriving in Gainesville after my 22 hour bus ride (Which I don’t think there was any other way to describe it, other than “It was a 22 hour bus ride, in November”), I found a nice restaurant to get a vegetable gyro before settling into my hotel room and checking out the rest of the city. The first noticeable place is Wayward Council, a non-profit, punk run record store, staffed entirely by volunteers. I go in and look amongst racks of records and zines, and talk with the current worker, who tells me of the pre-show that will be going on later that night. At first I assume “later that night” means 7ish and she corrects me that it’s more like 10ish. I leave after buying some records, and a hand screened sweatshirt (I needed to buy some clothes for the weekend, since I didn’t pack much else other then what I wore on the trip).

Instantly donning my new garment I continued on, feeling like Lisa Simpson during her summer beach trip, gradually meeting new people and taking in everything else there was to do. Another place of interest was the Civic Media Center, a great alternative library with tons of zines. After reading for a while, and printing out some e-mails I needed (Yeah, they’ll let you do that there, they’re really nice like that), I eventually moved on, pretty much wandering around, finding all the clubs, and finally eating dinner at a nice pizza place where I thought the waitress was flirting with me until I went back to my hotel room and found I had an entire stalk of broccoli stuck in between my teeth.

I finally went back over to Wayward Council shortly before 10, where it was still a while before everything started. Apparently the majority of local businesses run on late schedules (Most of the stores I saw didn’t even open until noon at the earliest), so they hold shows or let bands practice once everything else is closed. People kept piling in, and the first band started around 11. They were called Environmental Youth Crunch, and I’d heard of them before from the internet. They were catchy, with some folk influences to them, and while I couldn’t be positive, they struck me as being very environmentally conscience (Which in hindsight, judging by their name, would probably make a lot of sense).

Initially, I was skeptical of the second band, Scouts Honor, since they were the only one I hadn’t heard of before. I was wrong. With just guitar and drums, they sounded like Against Me! during their more Fugazi-esque moments, and even got bluesy at times when the guitarist started playing with a slide. I was definitely won over by the end.

I’d wanted to see Glass and Ashes for a while, so I was excited to see them. As they finished setting up and began playing, it was really starting to hit me “It’s after midnight, and I’m miles away from home, rocking out to some awesome bands in the corner of a record store. This is AMAZING.” Glass and Ashes were simultaneously hardcore and post-hardcore at the same time. Another great set that I watched from about an inch away. The same went for Fiya, who were a little more straight forward and melodic. After everything finished up, I walked down the street to my hotel room, completely blown away, and things hadn’t even officially started yet.

Day 1

It was nice to have slept in a real bed again (and not while traveling 50-60 miles an hour, for that matter), but it wasn’t as nice getting woken up by the hotel staff at 10 AM. Unable to catch up on any more rest, I walked over and got all my Fest registration done early. Now I had a map, so I was able to find some new places, including another pizza place (I stuck with plain cheese this time, which at $2 for a huge slice won me over quick). While Gainesville had almost seemed abandoned the day before, you could practically watch new punks showing up every minute in preparation for everything. I spent some more time reading zines at the Civic Media Center (and donated one I’d made myself as well), and was walking around again when I ran into the first familiar faces outside of a now packed Wayward Council, Matt Army. We hung around outside, amongst everyone else, waiting for other people we knew to show up, including Bill Florio, and the mid-tour Ergs! A few of us left town for dinner, making it back just in time for the first official show of the Fest at Common Grounds.

We got into the club, which was a nice, medium sized club, and there were “notable punks” everywhere. As I walked closer to the stage Bent Outta Shape were just starting out, playing one of my favorite songs, which just confirmed that “I was in the exact right place in the entire world at that moment” feeling. They’ve been dubbed the new Replacements, but I also hear some Lookout!-era Green Day influence there as well. After closing with “Greyhound” (Which I was equally happy about), Sexy got up and started. I’d expected them to be much wilder after some of the stories I’d heard about them, but they were really calm while playing their fast, catchy songs (Though we heard later, they had a much crazier show the night before).
As the night went on I made my way around the club, meeting a number of people whom I’d talked to via e-mail, all incredibly friendly, all happy to be here for the weekend. I wasn’t as familiar with some of the next bands, first The Arrivals from Chicago, and The Cardinal Sin from Minneapolis. The former had a bit of a Bad Religion beat to them, and the later struck me as another post-hardcore band that was a bit more straight forward. All I knew was that I was eight bands into The Fest, and I had yet to see one that wasn’t good yet. Here’s where the first night got REALLY interesting, starting with Gainesville’s own Grabass Charlestons. They play creative pop-punk with more neck pickup than most bands, plus their drummer does the bulk of the singing while the other two of them start up with some crazy stage moves. I’d wanted to see them for a while, so a hometown show seemed like a pretty good start. Following soon after were San Pedro’s pop-punk weirdo’s Toys That Kill. By now I’d managed to get right next to the stage, getting a perfect view of the band, as well as everyone else that was going crazy in the room, which was everyone I could see.
From the reaction they got, you would’ve thought Toys That Kill were headlining, but there was still more, with a (unfortunately rare) set from Dillinger Four. You could feel the excitement in the room, especially with Paddy starting to disrobe almost immediately, proclaiming “This is not the Warped Tour nor Burger King, this is The Fest and is a SHIRTS OFF party so lets all get SEXY in here”. From the opening riff of “Mosh For Jesus”, it was everything you could hope for in a D4 show, as the stage kept getting filled with more and more people (just not their clothes). Even proclaiming that they hadn’t been together for a while, it was still an incredible show; with punk expert Todd Taylor of Razorcake saying that was one of the best times he’d seen them (who was amongst the very friendly people I’d met so far).
Things finished over a little early, so most of us headed over to the Side Bar (Which was just that, a small bar with an equally small stage) right around the corner to catch Vena Cava, a San Diego trio that also played pop punk, with a lot of diverse indie-rock and hardcore influence for good measure. Up until then, I’d stuck with my typical head-bobbing show behavior, but at this point, I lost it, and started wildly dancing and pogoing amongst all of my other friends. By the time they closed with “Existenceresistence”, people were again cheering for an encore, which was granted with a cover of X’s “We’re Desperate”. I couldn’t possibly move around much more after that, and after hanging out between the Side Bar and Common Grounds for a while amongst the hundreds of people on the street, I headed back to rest up for the next day.
Day 2

It was hard to believe that there was technically even more going on today; some debates ensued regarding if any of the bands (or any other Fest-ers for that matter) would try to specifically top Friday.

Things got started when we made our way over to a combination day show/barbeque at a punk house dubbed The Future House. There was good food for six dollars a plate, and there was music in the backyard, that was much mellower in hopes of keeping things from getting too crazy (Key words “in HOPES of”). It was warm and clear out, so it was a nice, relaxing way to spend the afternoon. We tried going over to catch the Pink Razors, but the club was full so we went back to the barbeque and pretty much hung out until the rest of The Unlovables arrived, where we kept hanging out until heading over to another show later that night.

As it started to get dark we headed back over to Common Grounds, getting inside just as The Beat Buttons were finishing up, who I thought were very Ted Leo inspired, and were enjoyable for the one song I heard. We WERE just in time to see The Urchin, all the way from Tokyo. There were some disagreements, but I thought they sounded like the Japanese Jawbreaker, even if a little more upbeat (Though you could probably switch the comparison to a number of different gritty vocal, melodic punk bands). They looked like they couldn’t be more excited to be playing, ending their sets with mid-riff somersaults. I was actually talking with Bill Florio beforehand about how of all of them, there was maybe one Japanese band that wasn’t great – and it wasn’t The Urchin.
The long running pop punk band J Church was next, though I hadn’t realized they’d gone back to a trio. It was rad watching another legendary band for the first time, and I think this lineup is just as strong as any. They played a lot of new songs from their upcoming album which was interesting, though I was hoping for at least one or two songs from “Society Is A Carnivorous Flower”, though they also played some much older songs from a record I’d actually found, which made me feel cool. Punk cartoonist extraordinaire and bass player Ben Snakepit broke a string towards the end of the set, so I don’t know if it was pre-calculated move, but the bass player from The Urchin came out, Ben stepped up front, freshly Fest-Hawked, and announced “Man, Misfits brand strings suck – their songs were ok though”, and proceeded to break out a cover of “Where Eagles Dare”, which again, was one of those moment you were glad to be at that exact place at that instant.
I stayed for the first few songs of the Radon reunion which was good, not to mention packed with air guitar by some dude who wouldn’t get off the stage. Even though it was really good, I still left early to go back over to the Side Bar, where I walked in during the middle of Sick Sick Birds. I put all my other stuff aside, in hopes of relaxing and enjoying myself again as opposed to my usual head bobbing. The little space in the club filled up quickly, and I saw some other friends of mine who were all psyched to see The Marked Men, who were pretty much straight up, trashy rock and roll. Again, lots of pogo dancing ensued.

The Unlovables began setting up, and I excitedly made my way to the front of the stage, since I’d missed their last Manhattan show (I’m now starting to realize how many bands I’m describing as pop punk). Their set was a little shorter than usual, but still just as good despite not having been able to practice much before coming down. I may or may NOT have jumped onstage and done the robot. Apparently The Unlovables attract the stoner rock crowd as well, as there were at least two dudes next to me, somewhat moving back and forth, despite looking completely blacked out.

The Ergs! had flown in for The Fest mid tour from Phoenix, so they were using borrowed gear that didn’t even need to be set up. As soon as The Unlovables finished up, people instantly started cheering “Ergs! Ergs! ERGS!” and “Nerds! Nerds! NERDS!” at the top of their lungs. A girl standing next to me looked over and happily exclaimed “This is the best band in the WORLD!” It seemed as if the entire club was yelling at them to start early. They tried putting it off, but they finally began a few minutes before their set time, opening with a brand new thrash number, and the place erupted. From there they played some of their more well known songs, and everyone was singing along as hard as they could. People were diving over each other, and onto the stage. It was unreal. I tried to pick up one of the mic stands that was knocked over, and was suddenly mortified as I realized I’d sent the rest toppling over, and I mean ALL of the rest (I was afraid to look back up and see Joe and Jeff bleeding from the face, spitting out teeth), but somehow it turned out ok. It was amazing just how excited everyone was over them, and nobody wanted them to leave, even some of the other bands offered to give up some of their time to them. They were getting the best response of any other band we’d seen so far, even if just for that moment, that girl was right, and they truly were the best band in the world.

We all stepped out onto the patio area for a little bit after that, we all needed it. At this point it seemed like The Side Bar HAD to be packed, as it took nearly ten minutes to walk the five foot distance, trying to get through everyone. We stayed outside in an attempt to cool off and relax, when I tried getting back inside for This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb, another band who I’d been wanting to see for well over a year by now. We stayed toward the back, as the room was still packed, but it was fine since you could get a good view of the stage from anywhere. This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb play twangy, country punk, with both the guitar and bass players singing, and facing each other instead of the audience. It was a bit calmer watching from the back of the room, but we also got a perfect view of the disco ball getting kicked down out from the ceiling by a crowd surfer, and thrown around like a beach ball. Unsure of what the potential repercussions might be, we listened to the rest of the set from outside.

I went back inside for the last few songs of This Bike, going right back up next to the stage as Bloodbath and Beyond were supposed to come on. Now, it was less than five minutes before their set time, and they didn’t even have all of their own equipment, or even all of their members. That’s probably to be expected though, as they’re the new project of Ben Snakepit, Paddy from D4, Dave from Tiltwheel, and Mike Napkin of countless other bands. After finally getting everything they had set up (Ben couldn’t find a distortion pedal, so he just turned up his guitar all the way on the clean channel, and it still sounded pretty good), someone warned them “You only have 19 minutes left”, but was assured “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll be done LONG before that”. They play raucous blasts of songs about eating, drinking (and I think there was one about farting too). I was excited when they dedicated a song to Redd Foxx, and after whipping my head up and down like I was front row at an Iron Maiden concert, I’d realized that I was shirtless, as well as soaked in cheap beer.

Shortly after everything else finished up for the night, a bunch of us walked around for a while, coming across a house party with about 100 people outside. It was hard to tell what exactly was going on, but you could hear music coming from somewhere, and it sounded really good. It was too crowded though, and I went back after the long day before I passed out from exhaustion.
Day 3

It was a little sad knowing everything was almost over, but whatever; there was still a full day of festing to be done. I got up and going shortly before noon, giving me just enough time to check up on some stuff at home, and eat a quick breakfast before going over to another afternoon show. I started by going back over to Common Grounds where they were just starting another outdoor show, featuring a number of Plan-It-X artists. It started out on “The Porch”, but they moved it inside shortly after since it began to rain a little. It was another nice way to start things, as I watched sets from Liza Kate and Josh Small outside, moving inside for Erin Tobey and Madeline. I wanted to catch Ghost Mice as well, but I was getting hungry again, and had to get ready for some other things.

After stocking up on some new batteries, and two more slices of pizza, I came across some other friends and we went over to the Fat Tour show, as there was already a steady line building up. It was already known that None More Black would be playing in addition to the tour lineup, but on Friday it had come out that Dillinger Four would be opening with a quick set as well (It could be considered a “secret”, if they were named something other than “Dillinger Fart” on the schedule). We got inside in time for the D4 encore, which was good but mostly just the same songs from Friday and as Paddy said “This is the hangover set”. It was also pretty funny hearing that someone actually stole his underwear from Friday’s show.

None More Black played next; I believe one of their first shows with a new drummer. Normally they’re really great live, but unfortunately they got hit with some major technical problems, including some of the power going out, shutting off most of their amps mid-song. There was something about the sound in the club that wasn’t too great either, it almost seemed turned down. However, they still handled everything much better than a lot of other bands I’ve seen in those situations.

Next up were The Soviettes, another band I’d wanted to see since their first record came out. From what I’ve heard, they also fall into the “Much better in a smaller setting” category, as opposed to the 800 capacity “cavern” that we were in, but they were still able to overcome the less than perfect sound, and still put on a great, if still short set of female fronted poppy-punk.
At this point a couple of us walked back over to the Side Bar, just in time to catch ’77 enthusiasts The Briefs, who kept telling everyone to jump around and beat each other up. Keeping up with the streak of harder edged punk bands were Dukes of Hillsborough, who struck me as the kind of band you’d see on a bill with Filth at Gilman Street. For a second I actually thought this was another reunion that I wasn’t away of, but from what I could find I was wrong, which is good news.

By now everyone was tired, and around 800 of the 1000 plus Fest-ers were at the Fat Tour show, so the Side Bar wasn’t as packed as it was the previous night, but it was still heavily populated with a lot of “Punk celebs” who were all hanging out, catching up with each other, and casually watching the rest of the bands. I watched part of North Lincoln, who I believe are from the Midwest geographically speaking, but from Gainesville musically speaking.

Finally there was a short, also rare set from California’s Tiltwheel, who unfortunately only played maybe six or seven songs at the most. Often overlooked, Tiltwheel takes heavy inspiration from Jawbreaker, and within a minute into their set, everyone looked the same to me; shirtless. It didn’t take long for everyone to be storming the stage, singing along, and generally going crazy like they had been for so many other bands over the weekend. Afterwards, two of us tried walking over to catch Against Me! back at Abbey Road, but the club was at capacity. It didn’t stop us from seeing them play one older song, as there was a perfect angle from the parking lot to the stage through the entryway. Security closed the door moments later, but it was still fun to say we saw Against Me! play their hometown. We headed back where everyone was listening to Billy Reese Peters from outside, friends hanging out while they still could for the last bit of The Fest IV.
Epilogue

I woke up early Monday morning to make it over to the bus station, in time for my 23 hour bus ride home. The good thing is that it’s early, and it’s not crowded for the most part. It’s almost depressing to think about how different everything will be upon returning home, coming from the warm weather and friendly environment to the cold, dreary suburbs.

The more I thought about it though, I was ok with it. Throughout the weekend many people had asked me “So what do you think of everything so far?”, and as cheesy as I thought it was at the time, I have no problem saying this has been one of the greatest times of my life. Realistically, it wasn’t perfect by any means. I was tired, was stressed at times, and wasn’t able to see EVERYONE that I wanted (Modern Machines, Ted Leo, Loved Ones and Paint It Black specifically come to mind, just off the top of my head), but it still felt like the worst time there was better than a great time anywhere else. At this point, it felt like I was at a point that no matter what else happens, everything will still be pretty great once I get back. Granted, I won’t be spending every day at a different show, but that’s ok. This weekend was a reminder that no matter what, there’s always going to be more great bands to see, and more great people to meet. Even if The Fest only comes once a year, that’s not to say I can’t think of all the great times I had this weekend, and will hopefully see everyone I met or became closer with well before Fest time next year.

Why I Like The Ergs!

2008-05-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from "New Brunswick Basement Bands" by Jim Testa, originally from Hub City Out of the Basement issue#7 from April '08 (done for the New Brunswick Three Day Weekend):

I first saw The Ergs! shortly after I graduated college, and was getting back into going to shows on a regular basis again. I'd already heard of them, about how much people loved them, but I figured "No way. There's no way they're THAT good." Then I saw them, immediately thought "Wow - they ARE that good", and proceeded to listen to DorkRockCorkRod over and over again. Let the record show that I'm a dick. I went on to see them every chance I got, including numerous hour-plus rides to New Brunswick, where they'd often be playing with bands they'd met on tour, convincing them there's more to the area than New York City. The Ergs! didn't just rekindle my love of music, they reminded me why we're all into this in the first place.

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